Does the butterfly feeling last forever in a relationship?

[BeanBagWontStayStill]

I know about the 'honeymoon' bit at the beginning of a relationship where you are all over each other, but what about the 'feeling in love' feeling? Does that fade off after a few years?

I know I love my dp, but I cant help feeling something is missing, Am I settling or is this what a realistic long term relationship feels like?

The hopeless romantic in me says I should be on cloud 9 everyday, and the practical part of me says I need to get a grip and thats life.

any opinions??

[marceline]

I just mentioned this thread to DH and asked if he still gets butterflies - we've been married 13 years. He said no, but he gets 'trouser snakes'. Made me lough so I thought I'd share.

[peteypiranha]

I think the lust, butterflies and attraction is what gets you through any problems in your life. Its like a magnet drawing you to the other person when you see them across the room.

[BeanBagWontStayStill]

Ok thank you for helping me figure it out x

[Branleuse]

Ive been with dp 8 years and he still gives me butterflies.

Its not constantly maddening like it was the first couple of years but that wouldnt be sustainable

[vintagecakeisstillnice]

17 years, no kids

It ebbs and flows, days I could kill him, other days butterflies. .

[moomoo1967]

I used to think the same as you Beanbag but then I realised that no relationship can maintain the romantic/butterfly feeling all day every day. It just isn't feasible. But saying that I still get the butterlies every now and again when I am least expecting it for DP. Like running said the "butterfly" feeling tends to turn into something better :) I have had my ups and down the past couple of years, mainly with my health, physical and mental but DP has still been there for that very reason I love him even more

[redundantandbitter]

After 4 years , yes , I totally still felt completely loved up with the added bonus of secure and safe and being cherished.

Unfortunately he wanted the excitement part and just couldn't resist a 'warm and nice' yoga teacher he met while camping.

Hope they are very happy together - til he does it again.

It's worse because I felt so confident, attractive, sexually fulfilled and ... Well very lucky. But hey ho.

[KouignAmann]

I work with a man who spent all of his twenties thirties and forties chasing butterflies. Every time his relationships settled into that secure phase and the butterflies died down he would move on. He is a handsome charmer and gets his way by flirting with everybody male and female.
He has now been snared by a lady who understands him very well and he is chafing in a relationship with two small children and domestic routine.
I wouldn't ever consider someone like him as a partner as it is highly likely he will be off butterfly chasing again.
You probably gather the flirting leaves me unmoved!

[TheDoctorsNewKidneys]

I get them still. Not all the time, but when I see his name flash up on my phone or hear his key in the lock, I get the butterflies, and as soon as he gets home and sees me, his face lights up. But, I also feel secure and happy with him, and that's more important than feeling butterflies all the time.

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

Zombie thread guys :)

[Notfastmainlyfurious]

Was just talking about this very thing on Thursday watching the undateables. Some of the first dates looked so awkward with those dammed butterflies getting in the way. When we first started dating I would almost be sick my stomach was flipping so much! We're both much happier with the settled secure feeling where you're free to be happy, angry, fed up and not judged or second guessed by the other. Especially essential with a toddler and a pregnancy.

[KouignAmann]

Ooh how long does it have to be dead for before it is a zombie? Or is it "just sleeping" up to six months?

[annieorangutan]

I get the butterflies but I think really its just lust feeling cause Im attracted to him if you get me.

[magicstar1]

I don't, but I've never been that type of person. I can't imagine being without DH though. My parents have the butterflies....we have a photo of my dad making a speech at our wedding, and my mam is just gazing at him in adoration lol.

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

I don't know but I think if it's been a while and wasn't resurrected by the OP then it can be considered pretty redundant ie they're not likely to get the advice posted :)