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Original poster

Dodgy request

16 replies

Caramelbutthorn · 07/08/2013 12:19

Hi all,

I have a really weird request to ask - I know I will sound like a nut case. I'm
not, I promise and I have a genuine reason to ask.

My ex (& ds's dad) has a profile on plenty of fish. I'd like someone to chat to him, be friendly, see if he opens up. I'm only interested to know what he's telling people about our ds, will he even admit to having three children (he has two other children from his marriage) or will he just say he has two and conveniently forget our ds? What does he say about me, my actions etc. I know this will probably sound crazy but I just want to know what he's telling people. There's a good chance he won't reply to the message seeing he's moved to china to work and avoid the CSA so he might have forgotten about pof but he might be bored in the evenings and keep checking it out. Can you help me?

I'm not a bunny boiler psycho bitch, I spent four years with him being physically and emotionally abusive towards me (we split up when i was pregnant last year after he hit me) and I genuinely want to know what lies he is telling everyone about our ds.

Thank you, please don't judge me x

OP posts:
DfanjoUnchained · 07/08/2013 12:28

Wy do you care what he's telling people? Genuine question

thornrose · 07/08/2013 12:31

IMO that's a bad road to go down Caramel.

Do you really want to know? What would you do when/if you found out?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 07/08/2013 12:31

That way lies unhappiness.

mynameisslimshady · 07/08/2013 12:36

Will it really make you feel better to know he tells lies?

Can you change it if he is telling lies?

Don't do it, sometimes ignorance is bliss, and if he is lying to prospective partners he will get caught out eventually and have to explain himself. Its really not your problem.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 07/08/2013 12:38

Stop giving him space in your head.

I wouldn't be asking strangers on the internet to do this either.

You have no idea who we are, it could be dangerous, don't you think.

MumnGran · 07/08/2013 12:44

Caramel, you need to move on.
This is not sensible, in any way.

Walkacrossthesand · 07/08/2013 18:41

You could do it yourself, no need to ask one of us - fake profile with a new Gmail address to keep traffic separate from your 'main' email , random picture of some pretty girl, sit back and wait. But what would you do if he replied with the lies - what would it change in the long run? Why not just assume he is telling lies, shrug your shoulders and let him get on with it? You know what's true.

WhiteandGreen · 07/08/2013 18:45

I don't think you are a psycho bitch, but this is surely a bad idea.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 07/08/2013 18:47

This is not a good idea. Move on and forget about him. Would you talk about your ds to a stranger on the Internet?

Firebomb · 07/08/2013 19:05

Definitely not a good idea, especially if you are right and he is spreading lies about you or just not talking about you at all or your ds and pretending neither of you exist. Either way it's going to eat at you and you're going to want to bring it up with him and that way just lies unhappiness. Believe me, I used to look at my DP's texts to see if he was speaking with other women and anytime I caught even subtle flirting going on, I was completely up in arms about something I would never have known about otherwise and had no right to know in the first place.

LEMisdisappointed · 07/08/2013 19:08

really eally bad idea, sorry x

ImperialBlether · 07/08/2013 19:13

You know what? Whatever you can think of, double it and that's what he'll be saying. Anyone who emigrates to avoid child support is a complete loser.

You've heard about living well being the best revenge, haven't you? If you can just get past him to a point where you literally never think of him, that's your revenge.

Why get wound up about what lies this twat is telling people online? Just accept he's telling them!

Original poster
Caramelbutthorn · 07/08/2013 20:03

Thank you all, you are right.
I'm just still so angry with him for walking away from our ds and ensuring our ds has no relationship with his whole side of the family. I don't love him. I'm just so eaten up with anger.

OP posts:
WhiteandGreen · 07/08/2013 20:06

You won't be able to confront him without admitting how you have got the infomation, and that will make you look bad. He will then be able to use this against you.

If anyone contacts you offering to do this, then I would seriously question their motives. I don't think that any sane person would want to get involved in this sort of thing and you could make more trouble for yourself than you intend.

Hissy · 07/08/2013 20:38

What good would that man bring your DS?

Only that he'd teach him to hate you, and carry on where he left off. Worse he'd abuse your DIL and your GC, all because his father showed him how.

Potentially.

Believe me, him fucking off has done you both the best favour possible.

You don't need to care about what he says or doesn't say. Your ExH doesn't matter.

ALittleStranger · 07/08/2013 21:06

You know this is wrong, or you'd have approached a friend in real life to do it.

Also, it's perfectly easy for you to do this yourself. At some level do you want to be talked out of it?

Either way, it's an unethical thing to do and more importantly will bring you no benefit whatsoever.

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