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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pick myself up dust myself down...and maybe not start all over again?

2 replies

kittymchotpress · 07/08/2013 11:57

Ok, so here I go again, online dating for a year after the end of a long term relationship and trying to travel as hopefully as I can. One 5 month thing which ended up like a FWB situation that I didn't want, so ended it, lippy on, back on the site and now a 2 month (what I hoped was turning into a budding) relationship has just crashed and burned as I don't think he was sure what he wanted after coming out of a very long term marriage...or he just wasn't that into me...have dipped in and out of the dating thread, which is fab, but think the requisite thick skin has thinned out a bit.

I don't think I can work up any enthusiam to try again just now. And am really trying hard to think there's nothing wrong with me, it's their loss, blah, blah, blah, but I'm just not feeling it. So I'm not sure what I'm asking here but maybe just for some reassurance that this is all normal stuff, happens to everyone, and is just one of those things. I'm a bloody middle aged woman for gawd's sake, and thought I'd be able to handle all this much better by now. Any tips for just getting on with things? Im not going to say over it as there wasn't much to get over...

OP posts:
goodjambadjar · 07/08/2013 13:11

Can you find something to take your mind off it? Like taking an art class? Or learning a new skill?

FWIW, my friend had the same. She would find someone online, go on a couple of dates. They didn't work out so she took a break from the OD and concentrated on learning Manicures and nail treatments. Just a thought. I'm sure it is them and not you, if they can't see a good thing when it's right in front of them, then they weren't right. Good luck.

kittymchotpress · 07/08/2013 13:20

Thanks Goodjam, I think you are right. I just need to focus on all the good bits (of which there are many, I'm pretty lucky in many respects). Maybe a time limit of a couple of days of wallowing and then start afresh. I think online meetings are a bit weird because there is no context, so they are easy to get into and even easier to get out of...hmm, and I think I'm just a bit of a naive softy. Which obviously isn't the way to enter into the online world...

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