... which I'm not. In fact I'm really upset and confused.
I've NC'd for this. I'm long time (amicably, I thought) separated from my H. He comes and stays in the family home some weekends and I go away. When I returned from this weekend, I discovered, when I turned on the PC, that the browser did not shut down properly and restored the last session, which was one of his email accounts. I thought, whoohoo, I'll have a snoop and see if there are mails regarding our divorce as he is dragging his feet and I suspect he is trying to hide funds away. I found a little bit of that, a few nasty comments about me in emails, but what I mainly found was a huge history of porn, S&M, porn blogs, private emails to bloggers which were extremely explicit, Adultwork, huge purchases on LoveHoney etc etc. This was just within his email account, not on any laptop he may use.
I'm really shocked. I don't know what to do with this knowledge. It's not that I have any desire to get back with him, am a prude in any way or am bothered if he has a sex life, it's just the how sordid and graphic it was. It's as if he now is a totally different person in my mind to the one I've known for 25 years, and a grubby one. I think the worst bit is that I can't get over the thought that he likes to wank over pictures of female genitalia belonging to girls who are the same age as our daughters... I feel sick just typing this.