Long story short. DF has been with SM for 30+ years. He left DM and me and my siblings for her. There followed a few rocky years, particularly through my teens when my relationship with SM was very strained, partly through loyalty to DM and partly because I was an arsey teen!
Since then I've grown up, married and had a family of my own I really thought our relationship had improved 100%. Not so with my siblings-she's never had a very high opinion of them or their partners and, consequently, their relationship with DF is sometimes strained. I suppose I've always been DF's favourite. I would hasten to add I've never felt comfortable about this but came to terms with the fact several years ago that nothing I can do will change that-it can only come from them.
Anyway, it seems that it's now "my turn". SM has started behaving with disdain and contempt towards me, my DH and children. I don't know why and can't think of anything any of us has done to offend or upset her. I lost my DM nearly two years ago and I miss her every day and I don't want to lose my DF. I know if I confront her she'll totally deny everything and say its all in my head but its not. My DH feels it too and has more or less washed his hands with her. This obviously makes things awkward because we mix in the same social circle very regularly and I find we are now avoiding these situations because we don't want to make things worse.
I've been reading some of the threads on those with narcissistic parents and I recognise many of the traits in SM and DF's relationship. DF is not exactly an enabler because he does confront her and tell her off when she's blatantly rude or bitchy but unfortunately a lot of what happens goes on behind his back and she'll just deny she's ever said or done anything or make out that I've got the wrong end of the stick.
I'm at my wits end. Do any of you have any suggestions as to how to handle the situation?