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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

This week, three different men have...

15 replies

oopsadaisymaisy · 05/08/2013 19:54

Given me their phone numbers or agreed to a date but, the two who have given me their phone numbers respond to my texts but don't initiate any and the guy who I arranged a date with in Saturday hasn't bothered to reply to my choice of venue text.... I'm so fed up with online dating! I'm going to be single forever. Why bother giving me your bloody phone number and not bloody use it and why bother agreeing a bloody date only to immediately change your bloody mind. Sorry, just had to offload. Feel free to ignore.

OP posts:

akaWisey · 05/08/2013 20:25

If it's any consolation daisy you're not alone by a long way.

I've come to the conclusion that lots of blokes on OD don't really want to meet in RL but for reasons beyond me they act like they do.

I've stopped using OD altogether because it was such a big waste of time for me. Hours spent trawling through profiles for the very few which appealed and not a single one came to anything.

So it really isn't you - it's they who can't cut it in RL. Their loss.

MadeMan · 05/08/2013 21:12

Internet dating isn't like buying books online (which is good), internet dating is a pain in the butt (which is not good).

Shopping for blokes online on the web and then trawling through Mumsnet will just make you depressed. Perhaps you should do something happy instead, like buying some books you can read in bed.

Original poster

oopsadaisymaisy · 05/08/2013 22:06

Haha, thanks mademan. Books are definitely a good distraction. :)

OP posts:

JoAlone · 05/08/2013 22:11

Go have a look at the dating threads, there are loads of good stories and advice on them.

JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 05/08/2013 22:31

Male friend of mine says it's just as bad the other way around. A woman messaged him Thursday night, exchanged a few nice messages. She asked what his plans for the weekend were, he asked what hers were, she said "I don't normally do this, but here's my mobile number, text me over the weekend if you get the chance". This was fairly late at night, so he thought he'd go back online next day to look up the number.

Went back on next morning, all her messages had gone because she had blocked him. Her profile is still there, she's just blocked him. WTF?

EBearhug · 05/08/2013 22:38

One of my male friends has a theory that 90% of the people on internet dating sites are chasing after 10% of the people on there. This was meant to cheer me up, but it's quite clear I'm not part of the 10% being chased.

SusieQuatro · 05/08/2013 22:51

I met someone online a few years ago - dated for 6 months, got dumped by text message and then realised he was online looking for girls again, he could not do the relationship thing and wanted to play only.

Original poster

oopsadaisymaisy · 05/08/2013 22:53

I refuse to believe I'm not in that 10%, I'm a good bloody catch! Actually, that's quite a depressing thought. I've just been chatting to a guy who tells me its exactly the same for men. I'm hoping the odds will improve if I just keep at it. The alternatives are too depressing, although someone at work is setting me up on a blind date. Onwards and upwards!!!! At least I'm trying /pretending to be optimistic.

OP posts:

ImpulsePineapple · 05/08/2013 22:59

Oh. I briefly reactivated my OD profile a week ago. Then cancelled it again. In that brief time I am emailing with one, hilarious, lovely sounding keen chap, and one incredibly hot younger man, who is on off on off, I shouldn't even bother, but he's grabbed my attention.

I actually like being single too. Really daft to even try.

ImpulsePineapple · 06/08/2013 23:52

Nobody cares... )

adds threadkiller to 'Achievements' on dating profile

Original poster

oopsadaisymaisy · 07/08/2013 17:06

Impulse, Haha.. I care. I'm attracting the most unattractive men on the planet. Honestly, I'm a good bloody catch. How's it going with your hot younger man?

OP posts:

Jan45 · 07/08/2013 17:17

Why you contacting them or asking for their numbers, should be the other way around!

It sounds normal though re online dating, it's a minefield, everyone playing games and not hedging their bests, keeping their options open - you have to be quite ruthless.

peggyundercrackers · 07/08/2013 17:28

when you say this incredibly hot younger man is on off on off - is that some kind of euphamism?

Original poster

oopsadaisymaisy · 07/08/2013 20:54

Jan, men are asking me and offering me. And there's not a thing wrong with me asking them. Asking people out and offering your number is not the reserve if men. :)

OP posts:

ImpulsePineapple · 08/08/2013 09:38

I wish Peggy!

No. he just appears keen, then disappears, then is keen again. I'm down to one text a day to him atm. Because I need to be cool and reserved. I'm not following The Rules or anything. Just v conscious I can get overinvolved too easily.

Play it cool Trig!

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