Dh and I are really irritating each other

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We've just had one if those weekends where all we've done is snap and irritate each other. We're probably at the worst time - toddler, baby and he has a stressful job - but usually we're ok. This weekend tiny things nearly made us explode - him not closing a window I can't reach, me wanting an early night to catch up on sleep.

Please don't suggest date night - not practical - but any suggestions on being nice to each other again?

One thing you might want to try (if it's possible) is next weekend, you take the kids out all day one day and DH take them out all day the other.

We are in a similar situation to you with DCs of the same age and having underlying stresses on our relationship bubbling up from time to time.

Getting this space has been quite good as we can each get some time to ourselves, and also have a day of concentrating just on having fun with our DC (was definitely good for me as the H), but also then found ourselves really appreciating the time we then had with each other in the evening. Even if it's just sitting and talking or watching TV together, which is what we'd do anyway - but having had a day independent from each other made that feel more special.

When they're young, I think being in each other's company constantly (when not at work) can get quite oppressive.

Some time to yourselves and as a family is good. Perhaps half a day each with both DC then a day when you're all together with some time to do stuff and sometime to have a fun activity? If you can, both try and get some decent sleep (with 2 small DC, I know!) this week as well so you are in a better place to enjoy the weekend.

When DP and I are really arsey with each other, I try to remember that we are on the same side -he's not my enemy. When I feel like he's persecuting me by not putting the plates away after washing up , I try to remind myself that he didn't do it deliberately. It's really hard but I try to make myself think about what's really making me angry instead of automatically blaming him just because he's there. I think you hit the nail on the head - sometimes you have to make a huge effort to just be nicer to each other, much as that sucks some days

Thanks all. Will see what he thinks about so time to ourselves this weekend

How is it going this weekend OP?

I would recommend getting together with other couples (maybe invite a family over one day? ) because I find it's better to share a social occasion and have fun together than be alone with each other at periods like this.

Dd had accident at nursery and had to be stitched up at hospital and mil ambulanced to hospital and v ill and ds throwing up everywhere so I think you could say this weekend we've united in the face of adversity. Not that i's recommend it as a technique...