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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling unsupported :-(

2 replies

SusieQuatro · 05/08/2013 08:51

I have been feeling unsupported for some time. My baby is 16 months old and his father and I don't live together as I have a daughter who has special needs. Fell out a few times with him and his adult children. I wanted to chat to him a few months ago but did not as he was told he would be out of a job, so been feeling bleh. He pops by 2 hrs a day and watches telly - I have asked him to bath baby etc and I am sure he ignores me. I feel like we are his second family on the side. My house is not a priority to clean etc and get chores done. Another reason for not moving in together is house was job package. Now he can rent house and its with his 23 yr old son - told him we should look for a 4 bedroom as want a room for baby as baby sleeps with me. Seems intent on staying there. I am in a 2 bedroom place. We had a blow up about a job application that he said must be in ASAP and I said due date is mid August. He said no point filling it in as need in ASAP. He is listening to others and I told him to stop listening to others. How do I tell him I am not happy without another blow up. Also on Saturday I was drinking a bottled water and he swapped them as his was empty so I just got myself another one. He is always a joker, anyways I put the juice toy mouth and he tried to grab the bottle and he squeezed the bottle that water went down my throat and I was gulping for air and my daughter was upset. He was shouting at her and I got angry. Instead I would h-ave thought a sorry would suffice but nothing. Childish on my part I squirted the bottle at him, and saw he was cross. My throat and chest was so sore and took a while to feel better. That also has made me see him in a new light.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 05/08/2013 08:59

I hate to say it, and reading your almost identical thread yesterday, you are his 'second family'. the baby was unplanned, he doesnt live with you, he pops in 2 hours a day, he doesnt give you any maint money.

Exactly what are you getting out of this arrangement? It isn't what I would define as a relationship.

Although I have to say, if he has a 23yo son, he must be at least mid 40's, I do think he can fill in a job application himself - and by yesterdays thread his DIL seemed to have inside information on the application and perhaps you should stop mentioning it and let him sort out his own employment - and yes, applications should be in sooner rather than later.

SusieQuatro · 05/08/2013 11:11

Thanks for your reply. You definitely hit the nail on the head.

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