in bits now

[slipperySlip000]

so five/six weeks ago I asked stbxh to leave.

I have felt nothing but elation and relief to be free.

Now stbxh has taken the kids off on hols for ten days. For the first time I feel vulnerable and empty, and after a tiring day at work (on my own) I absolutely dissolved into proper gut-wrenching, grief ridden tears, first tears I have shed since, pretty much. It started in the queue in the shop at the garage (nice)! Once I got back in my car I was properly blubbing like a baby.

I know it needs to be done. Our marriage was 14 years long. I feel hollow. Am blubbing, still.

Please come and provide triple thickness tissues and mop up my tears and snot. thanks

Poor sausage You obviously need this cry. Stuff some chocolates and wine into your maw too, and let it all out

You poor thing :( what do you think triggered it? The dcs going away? Think of all the things sleep you can get done!

Have a tissue on me. I've got plenty in. Similar scenario here.

I'm using kitchen roll for my stbxh related tears at the moment. More absorbent even than triple thickness tissues. Hope that crying provides you with some peace.

Sorry but can someone tell me what is an stbxh - maybe you are now undecided OP about parting. Have you thought about life without him and "sharing" the children. Any chance of a rethink?

NanaNina - Soon To Be Ex Husband. OP it seems like you need this time to grieve. Have a roll of "Plenty" on me (((hugs)))

It is hard . I said I was working through the destruction of the rainforest singlehandedly 6 months ago.

If this is the first time you have had extended time away from the DCs it's going to be worse! Fill your days as best you can , go shopping ( even if you don't spend) go to the supermarket in the evening, visit friends family etc and the time will fly . DVDs , chocolate and a small glass of wine ( too much and you may become maudlin ) the time will come when you will enjoy the solitude !

Oh and it's good to release the tension! I found the first few weeks I was so busy and coping and then 6 weeks in collapsed with it all !

I think you held it together whilst you had the kids with you and now you have time to yourself your body has said "Enough!" and is releasing the stress, tension, hurt and upset that you have held in (probably subconsciously in the main part).

I think it's good that you are letting it all out - after all a marriage breakup is a bereavement and needs to be mourned no matter how rubbish the relationship may have been.

I would suggest you speak to friends and family about this and try not to be on your own too much. You do need some quiet, down time but too much will make you brood.

Sending you loads of hugs and nice soft tissues, lovely. xxx

Had friend over for crisps & bottle of wine, some giggles and hugs. I now feel like I've set free some emotion that had to go.... of course the kids are a huge focus, and they are away for a Symbolically Long Amount of Time (sorry, clumsy English half a bottle of wine up/no dinner) which makes the pulling away seem more real and new. I am now chilling, listening to the radio, enjoying the peace and the space, feel my friends are really around for me. This board gets a lot of flak for its LTB one-track mind. In reality it attracts people who like me are at a really big crossroads, ready for support, insight and... mopping. Awesome.

More hugs from me xxx