I know it's cliche but when we first got together he was totally different. Fun, full of life, energy, ideas, a great addition to my life he was. We had a great social life, out every weekend and a great sex life (almost every night). Then we moved in together and oh my god has he changed. I can't remember the last time we went in a night out. He doesn't even sit with me on an evening anymore, he just trawls the Internet all night for music stuff. When I suggested that I might join a sports club two evenings a week he went off on one saying we'd never see each other! We don't spend any time together anyway so what difference would it make?
This weekend we'd arranged to go to a street festival in the town centre. I'd mentioned it to a few people and was quite looking forward to it. Idea was that we'd go with my kids in the afternoon and then go back on the evening with his kids (access weekend). Well I got pretty dressed up, afternoon came and he said he couldn't be bothered to go, his mates from work would all be there and he couldn't be arsed to socialise. My immediate thoughts were that he doesn't want to be seen with me as he'd been raving on about this festival for weeks and seemed quite excited about it. I was upset and so he said "why don't you go on your own with the kids while I get on with the DIY?" Oh yeah - great family day out that is - on my own with a grumpy teenager that doesn't want to be seen with me. And this coming from the man that was worried we don't spend enough time together!
So I didn't end up going - he did however suggest that he still takes his kids on the evening. Changed his mind when he saw my face but the fact remain I worked all week looking forward to the weekend which has turned out to be shit and boring again.
Another issue. Sex. I have to initiate or we don't do it. Sunday morning is usually a pretty dead cert so this morning I massaged him, played with him, encouraged him to play with me (think he stroked A boob once and that was it) and then he said "we should get up, it's quite late" it's Sunday morning ffs.
Another issue - he agreed I could get a dog when we moved. We moved and I had a bit of a wobble on it and said I'd changed my mind and now I've thought about it properly I'm sure I really want one. Well now he won't even discuss it saying "I'd changed my mind" so that was that. No more discussion. So what exactly do I get from this life then? I work all week - we do nothing on a weekend - I can't have a dog - our sex life is shit and he won't discuss holidays properly either meaning I have nothing to look forward to at all. Oh he does - he's off to a 4 night festival in a couple of weeks which will be nice for him but no it's ok - ill just keep on working and paying the bills and doing not a lot else.
I used to get upset at the thought of being 31 and never married. Now I thank fuck I'm not.