Wasn't sure where to put this. Db and his ex split up over a year ago. They weren't married, and have one ds. Ex has a dd from previous relationship. Ex was gas lighting and abusive, took db years to get out of the relationship. Ex wants to get back with him. She's started being really awkward about letting db have access to his ds. When db arrives to pick him up at agreed time she'll often not be there. Other times she tells him he can't take ds with him but has to stay with him at her house and do things as a family. Db has doesn't want to spend time with her as it always ends in an argument. He now hasn't seen his ds in over a week. Ex calls and texts him constantly with jobs for him (like cutting her grass) if he doesn't do it he doesn't get to see ds.
Anyway, I told him that he needs to sort out formal access if she isn't being reasonable. It breaks my heart to see how she is treating him and using my d nephew in this way. Was I right to suggest getting something formal in place? He says he doesn't want to, because she will "flip".