Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Scared to grow up?

13 replies

suchawimp · 02/08/2013 20:14

Is that even possible? I just feel so scared and incapable and just pathetic.

I see people my age off travelling the world or having successful careers or settling down with families and I am just in my little rut doing nothing and being nothing.

OP posts:
Firebomb · 02/08/2013 20:19

I feel like I could have written this myself, honestly. I'm 23 with a 5 mo and I don't have a job, I can't drive, I have no friends, my SO is hardly around and when he is we fight constantly. I feel isolated and disconnected, but probably through my own fault. I would exist if it weren't for my LO, I think.

if you need to talk, please feel free to message me. I can't offer any advice or tell you it will get better, but I can commiserate.

Forgetfulmog · 02/08/2013 20:22

Being an adult is scary though, there are times when I stop & think "shit, this is hard!".

Op, how old are you if you don't mind me asking? Also, are you single, have a good job etc? Have you felt like this for a while or just recently? So many questions!

Sleepyhoglet · 02/08/2013 20:25

I've recently turned 26 and I feel the same! I am married though and have a career, but I feel the next step is having children. DH is really keen but I'm just not really for my body to change, my lifestyle (being lazy) and my house seems to cramped but I'm not ready to move.

Original poster
suchawimp · 02/08/2013 20:26

27, single, work in admin .... live with my parents. Not a career job - just admin and no real chance of progression. I never figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up!

I can't drive and the idea of driving is scary. Not just actual driving and assuming I would be terrible at it but also that it kind of opens the world up.

OP posts:
Forgetfulmog · 02/08/2013 20:30

Firebomb I can't drive either. I always go out of the house each day though & take 10 mo dd for a walk in the pushchair. If you can, it really does help. Are there any mother & baby groups near you?

I've found the last 10 months to be an absolute roller coaster & just when I think I've got the hang of this parenting lark, something happens to throw me off balance!

Sleepyhoglet · 02/08/2013 20:46

I only learnt to drive very recently. Was terrified. Don't need to drive as good bus links and DH drives but just felt it was one of those things to tick off. Even though I have a licence I rarely drive and only small distance.

I would recommend learning. It's a good target to aim for in increasing your future options.

Sleepyhoglet · 02/08/2013 20:47

Forgetful

I don't think OP ever said she has children so mother and baby groups may not be the most appropriate!

Forgetfulmog · 02/08/2013 20:49

Sorry, my post was aimed at Firebomb - should have made that clearer Shock. Sorry op, wasn't suggesting that you randomly attend mother & baby groups!

Forgetfulmog · 02/08/2013 20:51

Do you have a social life op? Hobbies? Is there something you'd really like to try or do?

Original poster
suchawimp · 02/08/2013 21:01

I don't have much of a social life - people seem to talk to me a lot but I don't have friends that I could go on a night out with.

My hobbies are kind of dull and domestic!

I have been a carer at home since I was young - first alongside school and now alongside work.

OP posts:
KingJoffrey · 02/08/2013 21:12

I'm 20 and I'm still about 14 in my head. I'm really struggling at the moment with being an "adult"...specifically financially (I'm at Uni and my loan is still dependant on my parents income. This makes me so cross...)

Forgetfulmog · 02/08/2013 21:13

That sounds tough op Sad

Regarding the domestic hobbies - do you like Cake Decorating? I recently did a course & loved it & it's a great way of meeting new people. Sometimes it's not about having friends you can go out with, but just being with people with whom you can share a common interest.

I don't know what it's like to be a carer, but I do know that it's very easy to carry on as normal & be in a rut. It's hard, but you have to make the first move & change it. Sorry, I'm not trying to be unfeeling, here & I'm probably not coming across very well Hmm

EBearhug · 02/08/2013 21:24

suchawimp, don't compare your insides with other people's outsides. You'll never get a fair comparison, and you've no idea what people are really going through under the surface.

If it's any consolation (though it might be just the opposite), I'm 41, never had a hint of a chance of marriage, motherhood or mortgage, and I hear of people like you in your 20s, bringing up children, and I think, "they're so much more grown up than me, doing that!"

I suspect it's a feeling that many people never get past, everyone else is all grown up, while you still feel about 18 or so inside. It's probably quite normal.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread