What to expect

[whereismytoenail]

I went NC with my dad about 18 months ago
I believe he is a sociopath, i had a very unhappy childhood and things came to a head when he started his crap with my DS ,shouting, screaming,swearing and being nasty to him and in front of him

My mum met an old flame about 3 years ago and has been meeting him , she told me about him when i went NC , she is now planning to leave and divorce my dad , i am happy about this but wish she did it when me and my DB were children , i have lost count of the amount of times i begged her to do so , he was violent and abusive to my mum throughout my childhood

So now she s is planning on leaving , with the help of my DH to move her stuff out in a very short space of time , she is not going to tell him she is leaving him and leave a note

My worry is how he s going to react, he is a very angry ,unpradictable person , my mum is looking for a flat so he ll have no idea where she has gone to , he knows where i live though

Im pretty scared about what his reaction will be , i know its not going to be a good one , im scared he s going to come to my house demanding to no where my mum has gone and blame me for her leaving him, even though im in my 30s im still scared of him

Yes we ll have a bit time to put extra security on the house , by a short space of time i meant the actual day she moves out , i think she has and hour and a half to move her stuff out while he s not there , im also going to be on edge that day as my DH is the only person she can trust to help her

My DH said the exactly the same as you , not to talk to him and if he becomes aggresive just ring the police

Thanx for the goodluck i think my mum definatly needs it

He will probably be angry initially but deflate quite quickly. It will be a shock to him that she had left. Don't answer the door to him. This happened in a similar fashion to me, except it was DB that left and was actually in my house at the time. 'D'f pulled up in the car, drive passed etc but didn't actually come to the door. Our Mum also finished their marriage a few years later, and we all now have better relationships. Hope this goes well for you and your Mum.

Good luck to your Mum.

I think you should contact the Domestic Violence unit at your local police station and tell them about the situation. That way, if your Dad does turn up they will hopefully treat your call with more urgency.

It is often pointed out on here that the violence escalates when the abuser realises he (ok, normally he but could be she!) is losing control so please be very careful.

for supporting your mum