I have had a couple of long term relationships where I've been lied to and had my partner more or less looking for better behind my back. Therefore when I got with DP I had major trust issues and was so paranoid but after a bit I thought to myself "you know what, I love this man dearly and I trust him completely". And I really did.
Then a few months into our relationship I found out that he'd joined numerous dating and casual sex sites and had actively been looking behind my back. I was heartbroken. The shred of trust I still had in men completely destroyed. He swore he hadn't actually met up with anyone and it was all just online thrills. Rightly or wrongly I gave him a second chance.
A few months later, he did it again. I finished the relationship but he begged and cried and wouldn't let it go and I stiill loved him and rightly or wrongly believed him when he said he never met up with anyone and was just confused etc and did it for the ego boost. I know deep down it's bullshit and the intent was there but hey, I'm a mug. I love him. I gave him one more chance - in return he told me all of his email passwords, gave me free access to his phone whenever I wanted to look on it and basically became completely open with me.
Well since then I've naturally checked up on him regularly, read his emails, looked at his internet history, looked on his phone - nothing dodgy. Infact, nothing 'bad' has come up now for around 8 months or so. Everything going well?
Well a couple of weeks ago I became aware of the fact that he was deleting selected history from his internet. I know because if you click on "restore last session" on firefox, everything from your last session comes up including stuff you've deleted from the history. He hadn't deleted anything dodgy but he had been on my facebook page, checked out a number of my friends (male and female) and had deleted this stuff. He'd also deleted the search he'd run on his ex wife (facebook) and a couple of other women from his own friends list.
Still nothing concrete to go on. I checked his phone and noticed he'd started deleting the entire internet history from that. I'm pretty phone savvy so went deep into the iphone reg and it seemed to be porn sites he'd deleted. Ok - I can let that go.
Now here is the one that has me - I've not checked on him for a while (quite frankly, I'm becoming bored of it) but last night went into his email to find my car insurance documents. Couldn't find them so went into his deleted emails and in there was a "hi, I'm Victoria, I love you long time I think we be happy together" type email. It read like a spam/porn email but was weird how he'd deleted it (he normally wouldn't bother with this stuff if its obvious spam) and it had a picture attached to it of a youngish blonde woman. Could possibly still be spam and whoever wrote it clearly wasn't English speaking. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and put it down to spam. BUT - below that was an email from google confirming his 'new email account'. The username was something he wouldn't normally use and he's not mentioned to me that he has a new email account (and it isn't in the internet history that he signed up to google!). I logged into this new email account (he uses the same password for everything) and nothing dodgy in there - infact he seems he hasn't used it at all - he signed up to it whilst I was at work one day. What is bothering me is:
a) he never mentioned it
b) he deleted it from the internet history
c) he tried to delete the confirmation email from his hotmail account
d) it was google email he used to chat women up on the internet before!!!
Why would you open a new email account and then try and delete all evidence of its existence and not mention it to the person you're supposed to be 100% open and honest with??
Do I ask him about it or just keep an eye on it and see what he uses it for whilst he doesn't realise I know about it?