DP & I have been together for 3 years, no issues except that he keeps lying about completely unnecessary things and it's destroying my trust in him.
Wednesday afternoon for instance, he said he was popping into town. I asked him whether he was meeting anyone - he said no, he just needed to go to the shops. We'd arranged for my parents to come over for dinner that evening and agreed we needed to start making the dinner at 5pm. He didn't get back until 5.30pm and when I casually asked why he was delayed he said he'd been for a coffee with B (female friend he's known for years). When I asked why he didn't mention this before, he said it was a last minute thing.
Yesterday evening, DP and I went for birthday drinks with a big group of friends, including S (best friend of B and another longstanding friend of DP) S mentioned she had also met up with DP and B on Wednesday and it wasn't a last minute thing, but had been planned for some time...
I don't have any issue whatsoever with DP meeting with B or S - I'm certain its entirely platonic (in fact, B's DH is my DPs best friend and S is like a little sister to DP) We're all going on holiday together next week and I consider them my friends too, which makes it even more puzzling why when I asked DP: "are you meeting anyone?" he felt the need to lie to me about something which isn't a big deal at all.
I confronted DP about it this morning and his response was that he "didn't know" why he lied, eventually admitting that he did it for a quiet life - he thinks I'm going to have an issue with his female friendships because I've been burned by a cheating partner in the past. What is making me paranoid, however, is not that history may repeat itself, but that fact that if DP can lie about something completely inconsequential, how can I trust him full stop??!
He's apologised profusely and assured me he won't do it again, but the fact is, this is the third time I've caught him about fibbing about meeting B and S and each time I've told him it's the lying I've got the issue with not the friendships!! This time, I've told him that if I catch him lying again I can't continue the relationship for the sake of my sanity.
It may sound like such a trivial thing compared to some people's relationship problems - am I overreacting by giving him an ultimatum? Otherwise, we're great together - we're both 34 and envisaged this being a relationship for life, but right now my heart is telling me one thing and my head another.