Oh my god, this is so sad

[lupo]

I went to start a thread in relationships about how h has walked out and I didn't need to as there are so many in the same situation...

Yes it's the same old story. My husband walked out on me and my 2 dd (5 and 6 months) on Tuesday. Least we can all support each other.

It's depressing isn't it?

Affairs
walking out
violence
mental and financial abuse
Not just the men doing this either...

I find it amazing and baffling that ANYONE manages to have a decent relationship anymore. They certainly seem to beat the odds.

People can be such a disappointment can't they?

Thanks for quick response...feel like shit. He says I nag too much, things have been difficult as I feel there is EA from him to me. I stuck up for myself and so he left.

I do love him and have told him. He says he loves me when I am being 'nice'. DS will be upset. I feel numb, upset, angry. I don't want this to happen, I want the family unit. He says he needs space....

I don't know what to do ...

I want the family unit too but I know he is final as I see it in his eyes and the way he is so cold towards me.

Lupo I am so sorry that this is happening to you too. Has this been coming for a while?

bump

Oh Lupo , I'm sorry.

But you know someone loving you 'when you are nice' is not really enough.

I am sorry lupo are you able to share this with rl spport too?

Fwiw the reasons people give on walking out range from
"This house is a tip"
"You are putting me last after DC(s)"
"Why are you still a SAHM/working?"
"You're too suffocating/possessive/high maintenance/needy"
Mid Life Crisis camouflaged as "I need to do something for me for once"

to

"We don't have sex often enough"
"You've let yourself go"
"I can't cope with your illness"
"You nag you're no fun any more"

A remarkable number of those "reasons" ignore any part they play.

Was this premeditated or a snap decision? Excuse me for asking but ea sometimes signals another in the equation, do you think there is anyone else?

Please don't beg him to come home, give him that space he asked for. Do you have a joint bank account, get yourself clued up about financial outgoings and incomings. How old is DS? Has H talked to him or is he expecting you to explain?

Thanks donkeys.. he said I put him last and my family come first.. and I am a nag..can't believe how much this follows a script!

Apparently I am defensive ..normal reaction to constant put downs?

Yesterday conversation went: me: 'oh lets stop of to eat ice cream in the park?'

him: 'well do you want to or not.'

me: yes if you do

him: ffs, don't tell me at a bloody junction, just say yes or no, well you make your bloody mind up

all said infront of ds. this is just one of may snapshots of my life.

TBH - maybe it is for the best that we do split.

Sounds a right charmer. Sorry if this trivialises your situation but a song popped into my head, paraphrasing Janet Jackson, ask yourself, do you ask for more than you deserve? What has he done for you lately? Does he see himself as God's gift?

I hope you are able to offload to a friend or family member. If you work outside home do you rely on him for the care of DS?

Why after being together for a few years do partners think it acceptable to snap and be generally nasty to their OHs, you wouldn't speak to anyone else like that. It must be hard to notice as it's a gradual thing and then when you do, you've been in a toxic relationship for ages, it becomes normal, you forget it's not.

How do you get back those initial feelings that attracted you to each other in the first place - I wish I knew!

And after a while everybody can move to the
F U Right Back stage
Just do not lose yourself in bad taste of music for to long

when they treat other people better than you then things are broken