My ex left me, totally his decision, then a few weeks later told me he'd just met someone else, although i later found out he'd been seeing her for months.
He decided he was divorcing me on my unreasonable behaviour a few months later, then spent the next six months emailing me telling me he was filing papers then and had terrible reasons as proof. I worried myself silly what those reasons could be, i'd never been given a reason for him ending our marriage after nearly 30 years, was so upset i'd done something terrible and never realised. When he eventually filed papers, his reasons were so feeble i smiled when i first read them. That was until i remembered they were the complete opposite of what happened at the time he was referring too, and i had emails showing that.
I was so angry he could divorce me on lies, i spent money on seeing a solicitor. She told me it would cost me so much more money to challenge the reasons he'd put, the marriage would still be over, and i'd still end up divorced. Much as it upset me at the time to do it, i signed the papers and returned them. Made the decision if he wanted to file divorce papers on lies and end such a long marriage, it just showed what a fool he was. Sure the only reason he filed in the end, was because he didn't want me to file on his adultary and name his girlfriend, and it lessened his guilt to be able to say he had to divorce me and it was my fault! Except he was openly flaunting his girlfriend by then in the local pubs, and shops, so local gossip was he'd left me for someone else anyway!
We tried mediation six months after he moved out, but it didn't work, mainly because my ex thought he could persuade the mediator to do things his way ie so he could pay the least amount of maintenance. Now we're doing it through solicitors, costing him a fortune sending me so many legal letters, but i won't accept less then we're entitled too, i earn too little to do that.
At mediation the reason for the divorce didn't come into it, its just about the finances and children, so the reason won't even be mentioned unless you or your ex bring it up.
Your children don't ever have to see the reasons for the divorce, when they grow up if they ever ask why, you can tell them the truth, can say their Dad filed for divorce on lies if you want. Myself, i've got a copy of the reasons for divorce, its in a folder along with print outs of the emails showing the reasons are not true, along with emails from me asking my ex why our marriage ended, and his refusal to say why. The day might come, when my sons ask for the reasons, i'll have the reason to show, meanwhile when they've asked why i've said the truth Dad never told me why, but they're old enough to have worked it out, it was because Dad got a girlfriend.
Don't be terrified, my solicitor is lovely, yours probably will be too, they'lll be on your side, and will explain everything to you. If nothing else, focus on the hundreds of pounds you ex will have to pay to file divorce papers even if he doesn't use a solicitor himself, wouldn't you much rather spend that money on your children having a nice time with you, taking photos you can look back on in future, rather then just a piece of paper saying you've got a divorce but on lies. Every time something reminds me about my divorce, i look at the photos i took last summer, i'm glad i spent that money on those memories and not filing divorce papers! :)
Hope you're meeting tomorrow goes ok x