.......This guy has no conscious.....

[buthow]

So I have posted abt my ex how I hated him so much enough to want to harm him and as lovely posters were advicing and comforting me I began to talk about how I fell pregnant in the 1st plc how he ddnt put on a condom wen I asked how he began slapping my legs and how horrible it turned out....and then finally we thot I might hv bn raped thus y all the anger and hatred was there.

Nway so I pursued the case went to the police and told them how it went down they investigated looked for him (we ddnt even go to court) some how they just gave us lousy advice to just work it out sit down and talk because we are having a baby and that we should sort out our differences and stop acting like kids, it didn't quite work out instead I think I pushed him further away

So I decided to go back to our Pastor and explain all what I told the Police and some how he was so outraged tht he stopped him from the choir and adviced tht he begins christian baby steps and understand the true meaning of christianity and do counselling but that was the last blow....he sent me a message saying I was out to destroy him I am a devil since I hv managed to drag him thru the police n got him stopped from singing in the church then he was leaving the church for good and he was walking out of mine and the baby's life forever, that he wants nothing to do with anything that will ever connect us....

I haven't seen him for approximately 2weeks now he stopped church as he had sd and that was the only place I knew he could be found as he has changed his address blocked ma calls. Its like we have swapped roles I'm sure he now hates me I disgust him the look in his eyes at the police showed no hope only disgust he wouldn't even try.

The good thing is though I'm still hurt but I now pray for him...I think I have come to a point were I know he is not human, he is cruel very cruel and doesn't have a heart or a conscious at all

But now that I have suddenly stopped hating him I'm missing him like I want him to come back, I want to receive a call from him and he says he wants to be there for the baby even though I know its impossible. Hating him was better than craving for this heartless man like this I really hope its just the baby hormones craving for daddy but it will fade. I feel rejected all over just thst it doesn't hurt as badly any more.
I'm so sorry its long but thankyou for taking your yome to read

Feeling sad about the loss of a relationship with the father of your child is very understandable, even if he was a complete and utter bastard. You're also feeling more vulnerable than ever because you are pregnant. It will take time to work through this and to feel better, but you should hold your head up high. You have saved your baby and yourself from life with an abuser, and while it may hurt now you'll both be so much stronger, happier and healthier because of it.

If you feel yourself weakening, write down all the bad things he did to you. It will help you keep your resolve. If it helps you to realise that is't not you it's him, by all means think about why he may have behaved the way he did, but don't ever lose sight of the fact that he had a choice. He could have chosen to change his behaviour, but he didn't. Remember also that his behaviour will almost certainly be repeated in all his past and future relationships with other women (despite outward appearances - after all, no one knew what went on in yours before you spoke out), showing that the common denominator is him. It's not you and nothing you have done made him responsible. You can't change him anymore than you can change the past.

Some people can make awful partners but great parents, though IME poor personal responsibility and selfishness tends to translate from one relationship into another, meaning that abusers tend to make awful parents, especially as a child (particularly if a female one) grows older. Be wary of that. But if he does decide to approach you to have a relationship with his child, keep your distance and insist contact takes place away from your home, preferably with someone else meeting him to give him your child. Your church would be ideal to assist with this.

Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

I remember your post... I'm sure in that one you said you had more children and that this had happened a few times? But the post isn't there when I search for you. I'm confused

Dahlen thankyou so much for such great advice really appreciate. You are so right he could have chosen to change....he could have thought of the fact that I asked for protection but he wouldn't stop and he is partly to blame. I like that you say some people make awful partners but great parents... I truly cnt change him or the past he has to choose to change... For some reason I couldn't abort thus y I thnk a hero is growing in me

bluehearted no dear I think you are mistaken my post was titled Help me over come hatred about a month ago. I don't have kids this will be ma 1st, I jus said I was growing to hate men n thinking they are all the same...

Jus wana add tht the guy says I'm gona hv a bustard child....is tht insulting me or his child??

Technically it's not insulting anyone - a bastard child used to be a child with no father.

It's just another way of him saying that he doesn't plan on being around.

It's not a very PC term, very few people use it. Or think like that!

Sorry that it sounds like you were treated badly by the police. Your boyfriend refusing to use contraception when you asked him to (if I have understood that correctly) is shocking.

Just forget his comments about a bastard child, it's pretty meaningless these days.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

CajaDeLaMemoria what does PC mean?

LucyTheLittlestLionessa yah hey I was they jus thought I'm some girl who went looking for trouble and I got it now I'm dragging them in because I'm pregnant. (Mybe they are right) yep he wouldn't stop he jus continued..... And now he is leaving me alone with the baby. It was our 1st night together after weeks of dating I thought we were inlove but then again thus wat we all think hey...

Thankyou for the responses mumsnet does get me going

Sorry girl you will be fine

Thanks hey