You make me feel....

[OrmirianResurgam]

...brand new
...so young
...like a natural woman.

blah blah blah.

Having been spending a while on some relationship websites looking for advice while dH and I reconcile, I have noticed again and again how often people in affairs state 'he/she makes me feel so .....' etc. IE he/she validates me, proves I am a desirable/attractive/worthy person. H has never blamed me for his affair directly but has on more than one occasion told he didn't feel loved at the time. So he found a classic damsel in distress so he could feel like a brave and worthy knight errant.

And all those fucking tedious love songs about how the love object makes us feeeellll. I AM a natural woman why do I need anyone to make me feel like that?

I used to love listening to Motown but I must admit I find it hard to listen to all that bleating and wailing about lurve, and longing and misery ...god almighty GET A GRIP. I have reached a point now where I am in my marriage because I want to be. I don't need H to make me feel good. If he ever feels unhappy again he tells me so and we see what we can do. Ditto for me...I won't put up with another moment of the pain I have been through over some of the last 12 months. Otherwise he can fuck off the the other side of fuck and stay there. I refuse to be in the place where he put me with his nonsense ever again.

So there

Good for you, and yes, fuck that fucken place, you're not going back there again.

Thanks jan. Amazing how shitty things can (eventually) make you wake up and grab some self-esteem,

I love Dolly Parton! I'm full of respect for her as a writer, musician, performer, singer.

But I played an old CD on the weekend "Dolly The Early Years" and it was completely unlistenable. I would not want my DD's to hear her whining in every song, don't leave me, I'll do anything for you, I'm nothing without you, even though you're a piece of shit I'll do anything anything anything etc cause you make me weak at the knees, I have no control over myself!

I had to turn it off - will have to heavily edit that CD on itunes if it is to be played again.

I grew up listening to these songs and singing them - women are so submissive and needy and just a vessel for the love of any man.

The lyrics of older songs can be highly questionable - I hear you re Motown.

What I do like is I can hear it now, spot it really quickly, acknowledge how things have changed in society, and move on.

Of course modern pop lyrics aren't perfect either (I'm not even talking about rap etc) and raise entire new cans of worms:
"I hate these blurred lines, I know you want it, I know you want it"
"You're up all-night for the sun, I'm up all-night to get some. She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night to get lucky"
"hit me baby one more time"

I understand the jadedness but theres nothing wrong about celebrating and basking in loves afterglow and getting it on through song. For every "tedious love song" there are 100s about lamenting a fuckwit ex. When I god rid, I faked it until I could make it by deliberately playing songs about dumping and getting over ex's, thank you Irreplaceable by Beyonce and Yes by McAlmont and Butler.

McAlmont and Butler - Yes

So you wanna know me now
How I've been
You can't help someone recover
After what you did
So tell me am I looking better?
Have you forgot
Whatever it was that you couldn't stand
About me about me about me?

Because...
Yes I do feel better
Yes I do I feel alright
I feel well enough to tell you what you can do with what you got
To offer

'Otherwise he can fuck off the the other side of fuck and stay there.'

Love it!

Agree isetan - but those aren't love songs are they unless you class them as self-love songs . There is a motown cd in the car and honestly I can't bear to listen anymore. I enjoy the music until I hear the same old same old - Oh I'm so unhappy, why can't he love me, why did you leave me, no-one can love you like me ...blah etc blah.

Maybe each of those songs is genuine but when you listen to one after another it gets to be a bit like eating an entire tin of Quality Street in one sitting.

becool - quite! What happened to female empowerment..?

You'll have to start listening to Kelly Clarkson - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

it's all in the hands of Robin Thicke - new leader of the feminist sisterhood!

I agree there are so few songs where people say fuck off to the other side of fuck (preferably with a laugh). It annoys me too. The nearest I have come (I am 50+ but listen to all types of music contemporary and older) is The Beautiful South and A Little Time. To me that is the perfect comment on the male midlife crisis.