This close > < to losing it with prostitute using STBXH

[Cabrinha]

I'm almost at the end of my tether. I don't know how I'm keeping it together, I'm almost not, really.
I've had suspicions for years, but 4 months ago I found proof that STBXH had used prostitutes out entire relationship and marriage. Nice.

The divorce paperwork is in court. He has agreed to everything I've proposed -and I have been more than fair. We're still in the same house. Which has been OK. The last 2 weeks have been beyond stressful though as I'm buying a house and some legal stuff (all incompetent admin stuff really) has been a nightmare, daily chasing, told new stuff every day, vendor threatening to pull out...) None of that is his fault, in fact sharing our disbelief and frustration is more than we've shared in years!

Today we are one document away from being able to complete this Friday. One document that the bank is refusing to do, and he needs to speak to them.
He dared to complain that it can take up to two hours on hold with that team to ask anything.

Reader, I lost it. I fish(ex)wifed down the phone at him - pointed out that I'd spent 2 hours last week in the local needle exchange explaining why I'd been referred there for an HIV test, and that as a result, he could STFU about 2 hours on phone to bank for something All His Fucking Fault.

Please, fates, let this house go through. I cannot actually murder my daughter's father. And I'm close to it.

If you want to murder him... tip. Get behind the wheel of your car and run him down. If you say you were temporarily out of control of the vehicle because of a large sneeze, annoying wasp, dazzled by oncoming traffic... etc., and you kill him then you can only be charged with causing death by careless driving and you'd be out in six months, if you get a custodial sentence at all that is.

Thank you - a fantasy shared by far too many on here, I bet!

I rang him and shouted at him - believe it or not, I've been calm, polite, practical - barely raised my voice in all this. I said "you're not even sorry" and his tone when he parroted "I am sorry" - wasn't actually an apology, it was him arguing with me; not "I'm sorry (I treated you like this)" but "I am sorry - you are wrong saying I'm not sorry, because I am sorry". Yeah - sorry he now has to spend an hour on phone to bank call centre. Arsehole.

It was obviously long overdue. :) Wasted huge swathes of a perfectly good life in the past being calm, polite, practical and never raising my voice. Realised, relatively late in the day, that 'he who shouts loudest gets all the attention' whereas 'she who creeps about trying to keep everyone happy gets shat on from a great height...'

If it makes you feel better, shout some more...

It's all about them. Fingers crossed you get sorted and complete otherwise I have a shovel!

Sleazy guy at work was moving out of the family home at the weekend to shack up with the half his age tart he has been shagging for 6 months. He asked for compassionate leave to do it on the grounds his marriage was ending. This was after telling everyone how much better off he would be as all their DC are late teens/early 20s

Selfish wankers all of them!

Shout as much as you like.

But did he get the compassionate leave.... ?

Lol boss said no. Sorry should have said that!

OMG to sleazy guy at work!!! Compassionate?!

I have chosen not to go nuclear, for immediate expediency - sorting house and divorce is easier when amicable. Also for long term gain - some things might be better left unsaid so that we can be calm around our daughter as she grows.

The prostitutes is obviously a massive source of anger for me, but honestly, I cannot begin to describe how much has gone wrong with remortgaging house in his name, etc - and none of it is legal / financial, it's ALL just admin shit. But I am ready to blow, and it is him who deserves to get it.

Thank goodness...

Are you using Countrywide Conveyancing for your house purchase op?

Sounds like you've been burned?!

No, it's a local firm recommended by estate agent. It's not all then though. There have been 4 legal teams involved (mortgage in house doing the remortgage, his lawyer for remortgage, mine for putting legal charge on property, mine for new property conveyancing).
Ultimately the issue is that the exactly correct wording has to be issued to say I am no longer on old mortgage, before Conveyancer will tell new mortgage company to release my funds.
Two issues:

• everyone keeps changing their mind about what they need
• for everything they say they need, the other legal or bank team say "oh no, we can't provide that".

I'm on my knees - it's changing daily, I'm chasing constantly, it's stalemate rather than delay, and the vendor all the while is threatening to pull out.

And I'm so angry cos I'm not going this to but my dream home. I'm doing it because I'm losing my home because my husband fucked prostitutes our entire marriage.

SCREAM!!!

Cabrinha Yes, we had a recent nightmare move. I took a packed lunch and flask of coffee and parked myself in the estate agents office (that had recommended the conveyancer) and refused to leave until they got things sorted. They did. Your situation sounds a bit more complicated though.

I hope that all the things that are preventing your sale from going through at the moment quickly un-stick and you can settle soon.

I also hope your Husband sustains some kind of horrible permanently debilitating penis injury quite soon and spends the rest of his life miserable and realising exactly what a horrible, pathetic, grotty fool he has been. (I hope it's o.k to say that)

Oh it's more than OK to say that! Thank you! Made me :)
The "nice" thing about his crime is that he probably will get the nob rot I'm wishing upon him.

The house stuff: still pear shaped :(