Is this a possibility?

[Fairiesandvampires]

I have filed for divorce and left our 'home' a few weeks ago after it became impossible to live there with h(its all on record the reasons i left, not just cause i didn't want to live there) now, he is in house, it belongs to him and his family, its in his name, I am a sahm mum, I am currently living with relatives with dcs, can't stay here forever. As he has the home and an income is there a chance he could be given full time care of the children instead of me who has nothing atm? No home, no income nothing? I am frightened this sounds like a real possibility as it would make sense for the dcs to live in their home

No he has to support you and his children financially. If anything you are a better person to look after the children as you have the time (ie he would have to employ a full time nanny etc). Did you work before you had the children? You need to find a lawyer to discuss further....

You are the primary carer which stands you in good stead. Is the child benefit currently in your name?

I worked before the children, only stopped as was not possible to do both and he never helped so I could work. Child benefit is paid to me as are and were the tax credits. I have legal help but only just,I am thinking atm and this thought has frightened me:( thank you for replies

OK, so i'm not sure if this is something you wnt to pursue but you can get in touch with your local Housing Office to be put on the list for housing. Depending on the reasons why you left, they might not give you emergency housing if you made yourself homeless as you had the right to live in the family home (that is very simple terms and there is more to it than that). That said, you would still be entitled to Housing Benefit so it would be possible to rent somewhere privately and have the rent paid so ong as they take housing benefit tenants and you can raise the deposit (though there are deposit schemes also but you would need to contact different organisaions about that).

You will also be entitled to Income Support until your youngest is 5 and thereafter Job Seekers. You will also be entitled to the Child Benefit and Tax Credits, you need to contact the Tax Credits office and change your claim from Working Families Tax Credits to Tax Credits. You may get vouchers for milk and fruit/vegetables which can help also.

You will also be entitled to Child maintenance which you can calculate on the Child maintenance Options website and which is dependant on the number of children you have and how many nights they are with their father.

Your best bet is to do an online claim for Income Support, you will then get a call back and can make an appointment with the Lone Parent Advisor at the Job Centre who will help you to make these claims which should give yu enough money to live on whilst you sort yourself out.

FWIW, I claimed those benefits for a year, went to college and am now at Uni and have custody of my children :)

Well done you:) I am now claiming all I am entitled to, council has said I am entitled to housing benefit its just finding somewhere:( I left due to violence, not horrendous but enough and with the verbal abuse that was ongoing because of what I was doing(divorce)I had enough and police were involved so its all on record. I have every intention of finding work when i can in the near future. Many thanks for your reply:)

It's always difficult when things change but it opens up a whole spectrum of opportunities that weren't on the agenda before, you will be fine - better than fine!

I stayed in the family home so didn't have that to contend with but I ended the relationship because of domestic abuse (mine was verbal and financially and mostly as a result of XH being an alcoholic).

I wish you all the luck in the world, you have made a really brave decision and should feel so proud of yourself for getting out and moving on, for your sake and your childrens - well done YOU!

PS. For what its worth, I doubt very much he would get custody with domestic violence on record xx

Thank you:) I am trying to look at the positives but atm its still raw and despite me being the one to finish it, I do have feelings:( it's hard thinking after all these years of leaving me to it with dcs now he wants to be involved.

He doesn't want to be involved. He wants to hurt you.

See a solicitor and well done for leaving.

Good luck xx

For the sake of your children, he should be in their lives, but in a safe and healthy way.
I'd be worried about them, because of his abuse, which can turn on them and to punish you, so I would push for supervised contact.

Get as much help as you can get. Solicitor, WA, SW, HV, whoever is able to.

Thank you,I am worried about them, for the reasons you have mentioned but I am finding it hard because he is continuing as if he has done nothing wrong, no acknowledgement of what has happened and he has taken no responsibility for anything:( he has money to pay for solicitors and I have just had to change mine and she is currently getting up to date on what has happened. I just feel I have no power or ability to stand up for what I may want - I feellikethings are beyond my control:( I wouldn't stop him seeing the children I realise he must be part of their lives but I want to take some control back, he can't just have it all his way :( hope this makes sense,

If domestic abuse involved then he is going to be "lucky" to get any unsupervised access let alone custody. Make sure everything documented.

He is making out I have overreacted,just couldn't do it anymore, the verbal nastiness was getting worse and what happened was the final straw:( I just want to get on but things take so long to sort out:(