How would you describe this behaviour?

[canterburybell]

Sorry, long post. Trying not to drip feed.

A good friend of mine confided in me this weekend that she'd checked her husband's emails (I don't know why or if this is usual) and discovered an email sent to his work address from some woman he'd met on a night out who'd looked him up online and managed to track him down as she wanted to see him again.

He told her he couldn't arrange anything with her as he was in a relationship, but he thanked her for the compliment. All sounds fine so far? But the relationship he said he was in, he says is somebody he has just met, not his wife of 10 years. They then briefly discussed the holiday (he must have told her about) where he's taking the DC away, alone. It's actually a family holiday and his wife is approx 12 weeks pregnant.

My friend said she was upset, but he explained that he just wanted to let this woman down gently and not hurt her feelings, which is why he preferred to say he'd just met somebody. Apparently he grew cross and refused to discuss it further, saying he hadn't done anything wrong.

I'm wondering why he pretended to not be in a relationship in the first place and wondering if he has form. He has an active social life without her. I haven't voiced any of this to my friend, as I feel I may be overreacting, but wondered if other people thought similarly. I don't know how best to support her, I just told her it was understandable to feel upset.

Does it sound as though when he met her he told her he was single and now he's saying he's met someone since meeting this woman?

What date was the email and when had they met? Had he told his wife he'd met her?

She's on dodgy ground going into his work email, tbh. Have you asked her why she was tempted to read his emails in the first place?

I'd think that, Imperial - with a few bells on as well, maybe.

Yes. He's told her her met somebody new, a new relationship, since they met. Also described their family holiday as him alone taking their DC away.

I don't know about the email dates, but, from what she told me, I think it was a few days afterwards at least, maybe a couple of weeks. No, he hadn't mentioned anything to his wife about her.

She also found another email dating from months ago, a friend of his saying that "the girls can't make it tonight" he said it must have been sent to him in error.

No I have no idea what prompted her to read the emails. I will ask.

He's a liar, isn't he? He's proved that with the emails. You say he has a good social life - do you mean without his wife?

What does she feel about him generally? He's coming across as a jack the lad who has one night stands, to me.

It sounds like this guy is weaving a web of lies, the type of which serial adulterers tend to get themselves entangled in. I would bet a lot of money that he has been putting it around. I feel sorry for his missis being pregnant to him.

I'd say this man is playing fast and loose with the truth for reasons which are fairly obvious, and your friend is justified in looking at his emails if she has other reasons to have her twat radar pinged by other dodgy behaviours

I didn't mean she wasn't justified going into his work email. I'd have been there immediately.

Sounds very dodgey to me.

I personally think he's up to no good and that it will all come out eventually.

Yes the social life is without his wife. He's always going out straight after work, too, apparently. He has a responsible, senior job but his friends (those I've met) are all single without children and definitely jack the lad types. He also bribes (I suppose you could call it) by buying her things because he's out leaving her again. He goes on holidays and short breaks with his single friends too.

Thank you! Phew I was right then.

She's minimising as much as she can now, (hence me wondering if I was being paranoid) so I don't think she'll take any action on this. She's most upset that it told her it was one of the nicest compliments he'd received, that she'd wanted to arrange to see him and sought him out.

He sounds a right creep. If I were her I'd on high alert now.