my mum!s alcoholism

[artychick]

hi, my mum is an alcoholic, I think. she doesn't drink all the time, but when she does there's no stopping here and she will drink until she can no longer walk or talk properly. it's horrible and I've had many conversations and some rows with her about it. she gets very defensive or upset.

in all other ways she's a lovely devoted mum. the grand kids are devoted to her, especially my DD who is a young 12 year old. DD has now started to notice that granny changes when she drinks and it is upsetting/scaring her.

can anyone advise me what I should tell my daughter? what would be age appropriate? and how do I explain that granny wont just stop (hasn't so far!)?

thanks

I would tell her the truth and I am speaking as a Mum of children who are witnessing alcoholism in their Father who I am separated from. Kids are not stupid, they know something is wrong but she may be worrying it is all manner of things from granny is really ill to Granny doesnt like me to, well, anything taht a 12 year old might think.

I would explain what alcohol is first off, as in alcohol is a drink that makes people feel relaxed and happy when drunk in moderation. But that alcohol can also make people behave differently and if you drink too much of it then it can be bad for you (could you explain that Paracetamol makes you feel better if you have a headache but is really dangerous if you have more than the prescribed dose if she understands that?). Then explain that some people drink too much for lots of reasons and that Granny is one of those people. If she asks more, you could go on to explain that some people do it because they become addicted to alcohol and some people do it because tey have problems they want to go away and by being drunk they dont have to face up to them.

I work in a medical field and my kids are used to me talking about drugs (prescibed ones!) and illness/mental illness so my 10 year old would 'get that' but obviously you have to pitch it at the level you think she would understand. There is Al-anon and Alateen which supports people affected by alcoholism if you need more support or if what i've suggested wouldn't work for you. There is also the National Association for Children of Alcoholics which might be some help.

Best of luck x