Just told dp I want to split ...Am I being unreasonable???

[alligator]

Just spoken to him on the phone. Hes round his ex's picking up his son and was supposed to back before 6 to let me in as I'd forgotten my keys. He's had a couple of beers and is chatting to some mates. He was supposed to cycle home but will be getting the train I think. Im so angry that he thinks this behaviour is ok. And that its fine to as leave me standing outside in this weather (after a long cycle home) for an hour before I managed to drag out a half rotten ladder and climb up to the bathroom window.

I just cant trust him to be anywhere or do anything that he says he is going to and as for taking any responsibility for money, no chance. All he could say was 'I knew you'd find a way in'.

Cant get my head round why he acts like this and I've finally had enough. Its the same everytime he goes to pick up his son or goes anywhere for that matter and I cant cope with it anymore.

Am I being unreasonable to expect him to get home at a reasonable time esp when he has dd(2) with him

dont know what a reasonable time is - but - i think its a bit shitty to leave you locked out. however to split over it means it must be the last straw in a long line of events?

I guess a reasonable time is before dd's bedtime and before hes too pissed to get her home safely.

Yes it is pretty much the final straw. I just cant cope with the worry and stress of him drinking too much when hes got dd with him and never taking responsibility for anything.

not good when out drinking with kids - that would piss me of too.

I wouldnt mind so much if he was nearby (still be annoyed tho) but hes at least an hours journey away and has to get dd(2), dss(14) and the bikes back by 2 trains and lots of steps esch end as well as changing at a busy station. I get so worried about it. keep think ing of what ifs etc.

I cant understnd why he cant sit and have a chat with his ex for a a couple of hours and then leave at a sensible time ie before he has too much to drink. I get on well with his ex but she also has a bit of a drinking problem which doesnt help. I can understand that he likes to relax there esp as some of his old mates drop in there on a Friday night but its not on when he has to then get the kids home.

Thanks for listening BTW.

no its not on.

what happened?

He sounds ermmm ...crap of the crapville. Very disrespectful towards you

Aloligator,not good at all.
Selfish arse.
Not being able to trust your partner with your children is very bad news.

Thanks for all the messages everyone. bloody computer crashed Friday night so I couldnt get back on here.

Dp got back about 9 which means that he must have left pretty soon after I phoned him. He was very apologetic and grovelled lots but I told him that I couldnt accept his apology as an apology means that he wouldnt do it again.

We talked quite a bit over the weekend but things are still rocky. He has explained that he gets very bored and lonely being at home with dd all day and when he does get to go out he sometimes goes a bit OTT. Have to say I gave that one short shrift. I know being at home is boring but thats no bloody excuse at all. He said he loves dd and dss very much and takes great care of them which is why he got the train home on Friday rather than cycle. It just worries me so much.

He dropped dss back on Sunday and came home pretty promptly but then thats no surprise.

Am in a quandry now. Dss wants to come round next weekend for fathers day which is great and I'm happy to have him round but cant think where we go from here.

I would say give him another chance if you do still love and want to sort things out as clearly he has realised what he did was wrong and is trying to behave better towards you. Sometimes men need a good kick up the backside before they realise just how much they annoy us.

Let DSS come around, its not his fault after all and it would make for a great day for both kids.

I really want dss to come round and I think that after this weekend just gone dp will prob be on best behaviour.

Have to say your problems don't sound insurmountable...