Hi all, apologies in advance if this is lengthy.
I am not happy in my relationship. Back story is that 2 years ago, partner had major issues with weed, and as a result was often distant, disengaged, moody and sometimes bordering on emotionally abusive.
I laid the cards on the table and said I would not tolerate it any longer. He denied he had a problem. We went to Relate for 6 sessions: in the end, the counsellor refused to counsel us any longer as she also said it was apparent that he had an addiction problem, and this was not her area.
He went to Addaction, and as far as I know, stopped smoking weed. Things have been much better since.
However, he still has periods of being disengaged, often apparently moody (monosyllabic responses, no eye contact, no conversation, general pessimism etc), and can be quite (in my opinion) rude to me (and in front of guests)...although he denies that he's moody and does not acknowledge the way he talks to me is rude.
Lately, this has been worse. I wouldn't be particularly surprised if he's smoking again, although he denies this (but has also lied until he's blue in the face about it in the past).
We have had a horrendous year with various things going wrong, but I feel as though I have taken on the vast majority of the responsibility for sorting things out- mainly whilst he is watching sport etc.
I also have my faults (can be bossy, a bit of a perfectionist), so it's not all one-sided.
Anyway, I'm reasonably sure that we do not have a long term, happy future together.
Problem is that we have a DD 4 (who we both adore), but we live in the house that he has owned for nearly 15 years. My name has been on the deeds as joint tenants for the last 5 of those years. He however, due to inheritance, has paid the vast majority of household costs etc.
Before we had DD I had a lucrative career. It was a joint decision for me to stay at home to bring DD up.
I also run a childminding business from home, and rent out rooms. Therefore, my sole source of income is tied up with this house. I am also studying for a new career, but there is no way I will be able to afford to buy him out for at least 2 years plus.
He also has another rental property which has 70k ish worth of equity in it.
Does anyone know what, if anything, I can do?
I don't want to sell the house, but I also get the distinct impression that he will not be happy to allow me and DD to stay.
He seems to think that this is just (yet another) rough patch, but I'm fed up to the back teeth of these 'rough patches' happening every couple of months!
Thanks in advance.