Should I be Worried

[Hubertscubert]

Often on an evening while I am watching television my husband will walk behind me and put his penis in my ear, how should I react to this behaviour?

Well, personally, hubert, I would be ready with something to whack it with.

Of course you have to make sure you don't hurt yourself.

I think a man with a penis the size of a cotton-bud must be a pathetic creature...

Buy some ear rings from a punk shop.

It is a well known saying that you should never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. So yes, you should be worried. HTH.

What? Why? [Hmm] That's a bit odd / chikdish in my book but each to their own...

Why does this make you wonder if you should be worried? Is he only joking childish as it may be or is it something else?

My ear will take only the size of my slender finger tip?

Move the sofa, against the wall then he cant walk behind you.
Or move your head quick & bite it off.
That should stop the knobber.
HTH

Why worry? It's totally normal behaviour. All 3 of my husbands do exactly the same.

Well, that's not what I was expecting! Nowt so queer as folk eh?!

What the actual fuck ?! OP are you being serious ??! This made me laugh out loud though

ChrissieTay - Its the school holidays!

I personally refuse to acknowledge any sexual advance that isn't in the Karma Sutra. The penis in ear position, isn't to my knowledge, in there. I would tell him to fuck off and learn about sexual etiquette. He sounds ill educated in the art of love.

Make sure all chairs/sofas are pushed against a wall!!

I would flick it away while continuing to watch TV

I've been through this too, its such a pain. I'd recommend keeping a can of deep heat spray to hand. A good in his japs eye helps to get your message across. To ensure he doesn't get complacent try spraying some into his clean underwear in in the morning at random times, it'll keep him on his toes - quite literally in fact!

Hope this helps.

I believe that the insane nanny state has not yet outlawed smoking in private houses. Therefore, if you don't smoke at present, take up the hobby so that the next time he does it you can stub your fag out on it without taking your eyes off the telly.

Nowt wrong with a bit of kinkery fuckery OP.

Kinkery???? Kinky

I'd just bite it off

Ear muffs. Anything else is just provocation.

Hire a male escort and when your DP is asleep, wake him up with a penis in his ear.

Nothing wrong with aural sex.

Mind you, does he piss in your ear, jizz in your ear, or just give your poor lughole a quick swat with his knob? There's three different potential fetishes going on...

Give it a whack with the TV times!

If he has a set time that he likes to do this I suggest ear candles.