what to do about ea and mind games from dp

[usedandabusedthentossedaside]

Will try and give as much details as possible so this may be long for which I can only apologise.
Have been in a relationship with dp married for 6 years and we between us have 5 children one of which dp brought into the relationship and I love and treat dss like my own. Generally I am primary carer for all do the housework childcare and any other chore to make dp's after work time quality time for both me and dp and our sons.
We have been dealing with mental issues revolving around one of the younger boys and he fell into a cycle of self harm which killed me inside. While I was chasing various options trying to get help for our son dp has been at work telling various people how dp is unloved as well both emotionally and physically abused. I worship dp and have never been able to say no. Our sexlife went downhill and became infrequent in part I put it down to work stress and our son's illness. The only time we would have sex is if dp had been drinking and then it would be a toss up between being pushed out of the way and verbally abused or what I see now as pity sex. I'm ashamed of that I craved the closeness that we once had and the emotional connection we boh shared or so I thought.
Anyway after a work do dp changed dramatically didn't come home stayed with a friend told me that they could no longer be in rl with anyone and that they needed top sort themselves out for all of our well being and that once dp worked out the issues we could be a family again. Yeah yeah I know what some of you are thinking but retrospect is a lovely thing to slap ourselves with.
You guessed it friend was new partner and dp came around to see the boys less and less. Dp made a promise to dss that he could move in with dp and then at the last moment told us all that dp and new partner where moving abroad and may visit at some point.
Well dp left and left with lots of debt that they had taken out in the form of loans just taken out in the run up to departing the country. I also learnt that dp never put me on the tenancy.

Fast forward 8 weeks and dp and new partner have returned to the country the dream life they had planned crumbled. Dp is now threating to take possession of the house and wants custody of the youngest 2 boys. I have filed for divorce before the legal aid changes but the socilitor says that they cannot deal with child and housing issues just the divorce.
Other points of view/opinions much appreciated

Bumping as really sure what to advise.
If you are the main carer, it's highly unlikely he can take your 2 younger sons away from you.
Solicitor pronto to understand what your options are.
Really sorry you are going through this.

Get a free half hour with a family law solicitor.

Post on the legal board here.

So sorry this is happening. I have no expertise, I'm afraid.

I should imagine the fact that he left without taking "his" son with him, will not work in his favour in trying to get Residence for the 2 youngest. At all. That is what he'll have to file for, and he would need to build his case. I don't know about housing if you own or rent. If you rent you can speak to the landlord how much is left of the tenancy as it stands. If you have been living there and have proof of rent being paid and bills, then your case should be much stronger.
Talk to health visitor about impact on your children by his behaviour and by his departure. Make your case heard by them, especially regarding the children.
Good luck.

bumping as I don't have the knowledge or experience to help but others will. Women's aid may be able to help. Talk to the CAB? Talk to your landlord - if you've been managing without 'D'H you may be able to get it transferred. I doubt any court is going to look favourably on him for custody when he left his son to move in with someone else. Yes, his home is with you but unless you adopted you would not have PR. That is not the action of a responsible or stable parent. I hope you get the help you need.