If you have gone no contact with a MM please help me!

[shameshame]

Hello and apologies in advance - I know there are so many women hurting on these boards from affairs. Please forgive this post.

I have posted previously about my affair with an MM and my failed attempts to go no contact. I have reached my all time low with this after sincere betrayals of my own morals, loss of self, immense guilt and almost mental breakdown that has led me to seek counselling (sorry - i know this reads me, me, me, Classic OW).

I have now left my job, family and friends to get away from MM - have told him not to contact me but I feel shaky and ill prepared to cut contact despite him telling me in despite previous promises he will not leave his DW. I can't even find any anger anymore, just exhaustion and mental burnout.

Please help.

Just a quick update to any interested parties that I am 11 days NO CONTACT from MM. I know that doesn't sound like much of a milestone but I already feel much happier (daren't speak too soon). I have deleted his number but am still getting texts from him (i assume), though these are very jokey in nature. Hope they will eventually cease. I realise this is early days but If I did fall off the wagon now I would be so disappointed in myself. I can't see that happening while I feel this relieved and stress-free though. Fingers crossed.

That is a big deal! Good work.

Could you change your number, even gradually, get a new phone and migrate your friends/work over to it, then shut down the old one?

Keep focusing on how good you feel, feel proud of that, and indeed yourself.

Isn't the fact that he's blithely ignoring your boundaries re. contact a massive turn-off?

Creepy isn't it?

He doesn't care about anyone or anything except getting his end away, does he?

His poor wife. I hope she wakes up and dumps him too.

I've been down the same road OP and although it may not seem like it now, making that first move away from him is the best thing you could have done.

Don't forget that one of the reasons that these twats keep in contact is to try and retain some control over you, because you have the power to end their cosy little cake eating lifestyles should you so wish.

I found this thought very helpful when trying to ignore any attempts to re-engage.