When does the pain go?

[moveonnow]

I've been here before but it was always in the back of my mind that we'd get back together. This time it's final and the only word that can sum up the way I feel is bereft.

I feel sick, my stomach churns and I've got that horrible nervous feeling constantly.

When will it stop?

It'll depend on a lot of things. How long you've been together, who instigated the split, how long it's been since you broke up....

Oh, poor you
it's really painful
remind yourself you won't always feel like this
try to keep busy
limit yourself to one or two good wallows a day
don't forget to eat and sleep
treat yourself to little things every day

Everyone is different and everyone handles these things differently.
How long were you together?
Why did you split up?
How old are you?
It was months before the adrenalin started to slow for me.
It probably took a good year before I started to realise it was for the best.
We were together 17 years and he cheated on me!
As PP says - be good to yourself.
The pain will ease.
You'll have days when you don't think about it too much and these phases will get longer and longer.
Don't rush things - take it at your own pace.

9yrs, don't want to post too much about the reasons as I've NC as he knew my old one.

I told him on mon so it's all very raw at the min.

I've ended it as I wasn't happy with things I discovered (like I said don't want to say to much)

Can't eat, can't sleep but DC are keeping me busy. DC1 keeps asking what's wrong even though I've managed not to cry in front of them.

You honestly won't feel like this forever. Even if you have to fake a smile for the DC you will, at some point, realise that you're not faking it any more.

I know how it feels to not be able to eat but try and manage little and often, just for a while. Are you able to get short term help for sleeping from your doctor? I had a 2 week course of mild sleeping pills which really did help.

You need to focus on you. Not the whys and wherefores of what he may or may not have done.

I'm sure you're much stronger than you realise!

I just can't stop running through things in my mind, it just won't switch off. I've lost my best friend

9 yrs and DC.
It's gonna take some time.
I second the sleeping tabs.

I had to resort to these in the end just to get my sleep clock back to some sort of normal patern.
You will replay things over and over, that's only natural.
It will be tough but you will get through it.
Many many people have been through it and come out the other side - you will too.

Thanks hells, I knew the first weeks would be the worst but I've never felt this low

You need to find other things to think about and fill your mind, best you can. The less 'down-time', quiet time when your mind is idling, that's when you'll find you get bombarded with thoughts. Be with others, do something absorbing, make some plans for a new future without him - even if it's just a picnic in the park - and you can start to recover. Good luck