talk me through what happens and hold my hand please

[moveonnow]

I NC as not so Dp knows user name. I think I've made up my mind to call it a day. now what!?

I'll keep you company until someone more knowledgeable comes along! Why don't you give some brief details of any children, the financial arrangements, the home etc?

Have you told him/her?
Do you live with him/her? Rent/owner etc?
Do you have support?
Do you have children?
I assume as she/he is DP you are not married

Some practical stuff:

MONEY

1. Get a bank account in your sole name if you don't already have one ditto credit card and take his name off any joint cards where you are the primary card holder.
2. Tell the council that you are a single adult occupancy home, they will reduce your council tax immediately.
3. go through bills and change them to your name only
4. Change Child benefit to go into your sole account
5. tell tax credit helpline that you are now a single parent and get them to reassess your entitlements and pay into your sole account
6. Go to entitledto.com and check you are in receipt of any and all benefits that you are entitled to

CHILDREN
Contact is for the benefit of the children. If you think you can work out an amicable plan and that you will be able to abide by it, do it. If s/he is/was an involved father/mother and can keep the adult stuff out of his relationship with the children so much the better (ditto you). Depending on the age of the DC and their needs s/he can take them out or to relatives or round to his new home. Don't be tempted to have contact in your home...it will mess with your head and the children's. If you need to talk together then do it somewhere neutral, with no DC.

Do you need to LAWYER UP?...when you are ready. This will depend on how entangled your lives are
You may be in for a long haul, so it helps if you can find a solicitor you?re happy with.

If you can?t find any local recommendations, always see a solicitor who specialises in Family Law. You can search by area here:
www.resolution.org.uk/

DirectGov advice on divorce, separation and relationship breakdown:
www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Divorceseparationandrelationshipbreakdown/index.htm

2dd's renting, everything in my name as we've been here before, not married, no joint bank account. I know I can claim benefits but not until he's gone and he has no where to go and no money to get his own place.

it's catch 22, all money goes on bills meaning he can't save but I can't claim anything with him here but he hasn't the money to go.
child Ben and child tax comes to me, haven't told him but I think he knows it's coming. I'm on phone sorry not making sense

If you've decided it's finished then he must move out. It is no concern of yours where he finds the money to do so.

You need to put yourself and your children first.