I've known him for years though we've definitely spent a lot more time together recently. He's kind and funny and smart. We get on incredibly well, we spend loads of time together and we never run out of things to say. We've got loads in common, and lots of mutual friends - he's perfect. I even like his parents.
And now I think I've fallen for him. We went to a wedding two weekends where neither of us knew many other people - as a result, we spent most of the time together and had a lovely time. And when I got home, I realised I don't want to just be friends any more, and I keep thinking about him and how much fun we had.
I can't believe I've gone and done this - he's so much a part of my life, and now I've got to either tell him how I feel and ruin the friendship if it's not reciprocated, or do nothing and try and get over it. Or, I suppose, hang around in the hope that he feels the same way. But I don't have any real evidence that he does.
I have absolutely no idea how to go about this - I've even been googling "ways to tell if he fancies you" which is absurd given my age and the fact that all the articles say things like "try and sit next to him in class and see what happens". But I've never been in this situation before - got married at 25 to the boy I'd been going out with since school, and haven't dared go on a date since we split up two years ago.
I know he isn't dating anyone else, and that he hasn't had a serious relationship since his girlfriend died about five years ago. But that doesn't mean he's interested in me, of course.
Please, tell me to get a grip and get on with my life. Or to get a grip and tell him how I feel. Or give me a list of "ten ways to tell if a forty something bloke who's unfailingly polite and interested in everyone he encounters likes you more than he likes other people" so I can work out whether he likes me back.
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Relationships
Oh bugger. I think I'm in love with one of my best friends.
LucyWildelovesGru · 22/07/2013 20:27
I have just found and read this thread pretty much entirely in one go although I admit scrolling a bit at the end to see if there was any news. Are you really going to make me wait two whole weeks for the next installment? oh hang on, its not about me is it 
I really hope things work out for you. You both sound like lovely people that are made for each other. sorry to hear about your ds's arm. Poor thing. On the subject of France. I wonder if he suggested inviting another friend because he felt maybe he'd exposed his feelings by suggesting the trip in the first place. Just a thought...
"Men don't obsess about 'the meaning' of texts, etc..."
Perhaps not all men but certainly some will. For example, a jealous type boyfriend/husband that recieves a text from his partner saying that she's met up with an old school chum named Roger and they're going for a quick drink to catch up on old times. That might start the old brain into overdrive.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I'd be highly suspicious of anyone going out for a quickie with 'Roger' MadeMan...
I really meant that (some) women phone saying, 'OMG - he only put ONE x at the end of his text! Do you think that means he's going to dump me?' etc.
Men don't generally desperately look for hints/deep insights/hidden meanings in texts. Or conversations...
Call a spade a bloody shovel is my motto! Better to be clear and unambiguous.
I'd say go for it too.
Just because you aren't getting any obvious signals, it doesn't mean that nothing will happen or that his feelings can't change. It may be that you need to tell him how you feel before he experiences what you experienced after the wedding.
DH and I were a bit like that. We got on very well but it wasn't until he showed his hand with a Valentine's card (shame it isn't February now OP) that I began to see him differently. Actually it took 6 months before we properly got together after that so don't even expect instant hearts and flowers. It could be that the best you can do for now is plant a seed and see where it goes in a few months. We actually worked together (he was my boss!!) so we were forced to have contact after the card which made us behave in a grown up way but still made sure I couldn't run screaming for the hills. After the initial embarrassment on both sides we went back to our normal relationship quite quickly and then things grew from there.
On the other hand, suggesting a break in France and then suggesting that another friend go with you? I am not entirely sure that he isn't testing you out so see how you reacted. I hope you were suitably excited at the prospect of going with him on the visit and then ever so slightly downcast at the mention of taking somebody else. 
Hello OP,
Just came across this thread and wanted to offer more words/a story of encouragement! This past weekend DH and I attended a wedding of two friends who had known each other for years, he always had a thing for her, she for him, and didn't say a word until about 3 years ago! They are very happy, obviously, but what really stuck with me was what the groom said in his speech to her;
the best part about being married to you is that after all the craziness and this party, you will still be my best friend.
This applies to your circ, I'd think! You're best friends, and in a good friendship, drama can be overcome. After all, the worst thing you're telling him is you love him. That's hardly a terrible thing!
Good luck!
Yay! He who dares wins and all that. 
And how long were you sat at your computer pressing refresh before that came through?
Have a lovely dinner. I reckon the feeling is mutual but one of you is going to have to be brave and make the first move........
Sorry just seen the email updates, exciting stuff! Have a lovely dinner and (more importantly) update us afterwards!
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Ooh marking my place for updates
I hope dinner goes well for you
Arghhhhhhhhh - it's like watching snails courting
At least with a good book you can skim read very quickly.
Impatient much??
I hope you do it soon though, it's hard getting everything done with my fingers crossed!!
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