I don't know what to do

[NoOneToTurnTo]

Last night dh gave me his phone so I could read something, curiosity got the better of me and when I finished reading I looked at his internet history.
I was ok, or so I thought at him using moderate porn for masturbation purposes but when I looked over the past week he'd looked at hundreds of videos then I looked at last month and there were pages and pages and even animal porn, women and dogs which sickened me.
I feel like I've encouraged this by being ok with him using porn. I didn't realise how much he was using it though or what he watches.
I'm shaking and my hearts beating so fast
Last night ds2 was really poorly, temperature then vomited severely all over his cot then our bed, I took him downstairs while dh sorted out clean bed clothes etc then I checked his phone again this morning and he'd been on several sites then while we were downstairs.

I don't know what to do

I was honest and told him I'd seen everything.
I said that while I am ok with occasional use its gone way past that. I told him how disgusted I was about the dog ones and he went 'what?' and looked mortified, I told him it is illegal, he didn't know either. He said he looked out of curiosity and didn't specifically go looking, but clicked on a link, then that led to clicking on others. We talked about why he's so curious and why the need to look at porn so much, he said it had just become a habit. We spoke about our childhoods and how it had affected this behavior.
We decided on some rules, me mn'ing which he thought had become too much lately, I agree, and him with this.
We had a very lengthy, open and honest chat, this only just summarises what we spoke about.
I am glad I spoke to him, he's glad too, he wants to have counseling to further look at his issues.

I could have predicted what he would say about just being curious. So once his curiosity was satisfied, why did he need to keep looking? So what if he didn't know it was illegal, he knew it was disgusting.

Did you know that that is the standard response for me who are caught looking at child sex abuse? 'Morbid curiosity' is the standard defence. After all, what else could they say to try and justify it.

As for you spending too much time on mn- what the actual?

He did well to pass the buck there and get you to think that his desire to watch animals and women abused is partly down to you. Are you really going to fall for that?

'for men' not 'for me' obviously. Bad typo.

curiosity?

Right.

Watch how quickly he goes and gets this counselling love, sounds like you would have a better chance waiting for Moses.

of course mumsnetting and watching abuse are two compatible activities aren't they?

"Darling did you fuck the dog today?" "Yes but only because you didn't walk it"

Well he would say curiosity, why would you be curious of that kind of sex, it's not exactly natural is it.

I'm laughing at his comparison to MN - wtf???

It's a nasty habit then and if he cares about you and his marriage he'll sort it out, you're right to object, this is not something any woman would be happy about - it's pretty sick really.

As for the counselling - I'd be amazed if he meant that.

I really hope he can put you first instead of sex with a dog.

There are two problems here. Porn addiction which is very common and, provided he acknowledges he has an addiction and gets help, can be resolved. The bigger problem is the bestiality stuff. Presumably you have looked at his internet history to see whether it was just one night he looked at it or whether it was on several different occasions. You do realise that the filming of that stuff necessarily entails serious abuse of women, right? Put it another way - if you found out that he was masturbating over videos of kids getting abused, would you have him under your roof? Could you ever look him in the eye and feel the same way about him? This abuse is not much better.

It's been a few days now, but I'm struggling to get over this. We had our talk and as I expected, his history has been empty since despite me being at work the last twonnights, he's either not been on any sites or is now deleting his history, which I think he's doing. He tried it on last night but I couldn't let him touch me.
Although the dog ones were only on one night as I can see, I just can't get past it in my head.
I thought I knew him so well
How are we ever going to get through this?

I would imagine he is deleting the history.

Seriously- he turned around his almost constant checking out women shagging animals to your over use of mumsnet?

Everything else in our relationship is so good, we have wonderful dc's and appear to be the perfect family.
We've been together a very long time.
I can't believe this is all happening,
My perfect family is crumbling
And it's all his bastard fault

I'm 100% positive he's deleting his history, I knew this would happen, I said it on one of my earlier posts

You poor thing. Would you be able to say: look I know what you're doing - I'm losing all respect for you and if you can't stop it or don't get help to stop it, we're finished.

Not only the bestiality - and yes ten sites or more is gross- the porn/spying on women unawares is absolutely disgusting. It tells you a lot about him that he happily watches unwilling participants. :(

See what he says.