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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So, these 'D'P's and H's who are glued to their phones...

17 replies

CVSFootPowder · 21/07/2013 23:31

what do they do with the phone when they're sleeping..or in the shower? Do they hide them?If so where?

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 21/07/2013 23:38

The only time my exdh left his phone unattended was first thing every morning when he stumbled out of bed and into the shower. This was how I found out about his affair. I was reading his texts for weeks. I knew exactly how much time I had, 5 minutes, and I made the most of it.

There will always be a time when they don'thave their phones on them. Just wait and watch.

EarthtoMajorTom · 21/07/2013 23:39

I can't help, but NotSuch... that really is a terrific username.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 21/07/2013 23:41

Thank you - Smile

LadyLech · 22/07/2013 00:34

The only time his phone leaves his side is when he showers. Then it is placed on the headboard of the bed.

DH is not having an affair though, he just loves his phone Smile

alphacourse · 22/07/2013 01:25

When he is sleeping it is plugged in beside his bed to be used as an alarm. When he is in the shower it WAS in the shower room on the window sill.

LegoLegoEverywhere · 22/07/2013 07:34

Same as notsomuch the only time sxbh left his phone unattended was first thing when he went in the shower. Then he would strategically place a book of something on it to check I hadn't looked at it.

It didn't work, I still found out about his antics. Now he's with one of them, she's wrecked her own marriage and left her kids but theyre in luuurrvve.

I couldn't get over how much it was glued to his side, toilet, mealtimes, he even used to txt under the covers whilst I was beside him in bed (then tell me I was hearing things when I heard the faint beeps).

I don't miss him.

ANewDoll · 22/07/2013 08:16

XH never left his mobile unattended - the excuse being that he had such a high powered job and had to be available all the time. It went everywhere with him - toilet, shower, bedside cabinet at night. My DS saw a text flash up one day with a photo of OW on the screen and told me about it. I confronted and there were many denials etc. etc. but I snooped further, obtained some pretty incriminating evidence and filed for divorce a few weeks later. XH and OW are getting married this summer!

Lego - I do not miss him at all - we had been together almost 40 years!

LegoLegoEverywhere · 22/07/2013 09:23

20 years for me. What is wrong with some men. Angry

OldernotWiser47 · 22/07/2013 10:47

Oh dear, I do the phone thing. Not because I have an affair;, but because it is likely to be stolen at work if I leave it, so have got into the habit of taking it everywhere. Even the bathroom, it is never left Confused
I hope lovely DP never reads this thread, he might get odd ideas!

CVSFootPowder · 22/07/2013 11:01

I should add, I'm asking on behalf of a younger friend.
To me it looks like there is something untoward going on - not just that her DP has suddenly become joined at the hip to his phone, but they are also now sleeping in separate beds. He's picking arguments. Seems to have checked out emotionally.

OP posts:
faulkernegger · 22/07/2013 17:54

I think it's when habits change it raises an eyebrow. My DP used to leave his phone all over the house (lots of swearing when he couldn't find it), and then I noticed he never left it anywhere - next to his head on the table at night, in the shower/ loo with him at other times, in his trouser pocket etc. Oh, and suddenly I never heard it ring or beep for texts. My suspicions were correct - EA revealed finally 10 days ago. OP's friends DP is textbook IMHO.

skyeskyeskye · 22/07/2013 18:43

Because I trusted my XH so blindly, I didnt register what he was doing with his phone at the time, although a couple of odd things did happen, keeping it in the door pocket rather than the centre of the car etc... after he walked out, I discovered thousands of texts to OW on his mobile phone bills, and then it clicked that he had been:

keeping it switched on and beside the bed every evening (not used as alarm)
leaving it on silent all the time
taking it to the bathroom and utility room with him
taking it out to the car to "get something"
only charging it if he was sat right beside it

previously to all this, his phone was always switched off overnight and left in the living room and left on the side of his chair any other time and never on silent in case he missed a call.

your friends DP's behaviour sounds very dodgy :(

CVSFootPowder · 22/07/2013 20:44

Yes, his habits with it have changed. My friend said he used to leave it lying around,now it's glued to his side.
They are also now sleeping in separate rooms.
She has asked me for my opinion, and my opinion is that he's acting very dodgy indeed. She went into his room while he was sleeping on Saturday evening and couldn't find the phone anywhere. It seems as if he may be hiding it while he sleeps, which clearly means he's up to no good.

OP posts:
Roseflowers · 22/07/2013 21:28

Yup, dodgy as anything. My ex took his EVERYWHERE with him, took it to the loo, in the shower, would have it on the sofa next to him but would put the screen face down so I couldn't see who was texting him. Standard cheat behavior unfortunately :(

TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 22/07/2013 21:32

DH takes his into the bathroom with him in the morning - he checks Facebook while he's having a poo. It doesn't make me suspicious though, he leaves it lying around at other times and I know his password.

CVSFootPowder · 24/07/2013 09:38

My friend found her partner's phone early this morning while he was sleeping. Hidden underneath a loose floor board Shock.
Needless to say, it's password protected so she can't access anything.
I've told her that the fact it was hidden under a floor board is pretty much all she needs to know he's up to no good.

OP posts:
LadyLech · 24/07/2013 10:34

Yeah, there's keeping it close because they're addicted to it, and have to use it at every given free moment even on the loo, and then there's the secrecy. If they're being secretive with it, then that takes it to a whole new level. Hiding it under the floorboards is not a good sign. I'd find that very worrying indeed.

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