Would you be offended about this?

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My friend and colleague is a care assistant and I'm a qualified nurse. Today, during handover, she suddenly started having a go at me saying that the nurses don't understand how hard it is for the carers because we're doing other things.

The thing is, I do know how hard it is because, at my last job, we were chronically short staffed and the nurses had to fill in the gaps as well as doing their nursing duties (paperwork, drug ordering etc.)

She often asks me for practical help when I'm perhaps doing the notes or something. I don't mind and I'm not one of those types who just sit on the computer all shift, but I am responsible for 30 residents, staff, the building etc. and it's demanding work.

I think she resents me for just doing my job. I worked so hard this morning and got a lot done, then she just launched into me as though I'm some kind of rookie who doesn't understand how hard the carers work. I've been qualified for 20 years, so certainly no rookie

I feel guilty for being qualified and not having to do their job, but my job is difficult, stressful and demanding too.

Should I just bite my tongue and sympathise, or stick up for myself and my role?

She's got a nerve. You both have different jobs and presumably you're both working hard. She's cheeky saying her job is so much harder than yours and that you don't understand her job.

We get this a lot at college; the office staff have a dreadful attitude to the teachers. I think they sort of forget we're in the classroom 24 hours a week and just can't see why we can't deal with their (usually late) demands immediately.

Stick up for yourself--don't hold back. Your registration could/would be at stake if you did not keep up with all the legal/crappy paperwork that we all hate. It is the bit of nursing that l do not like but know how necessary it is.

Point out to your friend that there is more to your role than the day to day care of the residents, work that is also mentally exhausting as much as physically exhausting and the while you appreciate her role in the care of residents she has to reciprocate and appreciate your role is different.

If she doesn't like it she should leave. Can you do the rota to try and avoid being on her shift as much as possible

Yes, there are some issues with workload/staffing. I do sympathise with them, but was just feeling got at this afternoon I feel like I have to justify what I'm doing at work when I'm on with her. A lot of what we do isn't immediately obvious, but does matter.