feeling low - need reassurance :(

[laurajayne1988]

Have posted my story before but in a nutshell - fiance left me for another woman back in May (a day after we got back from a holiday) we have a 2 yr old and I'm 27 weeks pregnant... He doesn't see our girl (he either doesn't turn up, makes excuses or threatens to take her to his gf house which he has done behind my back) she has been vile to me threatening me etc up until I changed my number.

Today I've been struggling literally crying all day and feel generally shit I miss him soo much and can't stop thinking about him but every now and again I hate him so much for ripping away the fantastic future we planned... I try and keep busy and focus purely on my girls but I just feel so useless :(

Saw this and couldn't post and run.

You poor thing, I'm not surprised you're feeling low. That sounds like a extremely stressful and upsetting series of events, and how awful to find out that someone who you loved and put your trust in can behave in such a cruel way.

That was just two months ago which is really no time at all, so please be kind to yourself.

Do you have any friends and family nearby who can give you some support?

Here's a hand to hold in the meantime.

I mean not post :)

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. May is not that long ago, plus you're expecting, so be kind to yourself and don't expect too much today. IME the grief process after a traumatic break-up is not a straight line process, it happens in waves or cycles. As time goes on the painful days will get further apart and less intense... so it's a question of staying busy, making the most of your good days and looking after yourself (or letting others look after you) on your bad days.

You're far from useless, of course. :) You're the one rolling with the punches, doing the right thing, taking all the responsibility and, whilst it's hard work and emotionally draining, you can hold your head high every step of the way. Your ex and his new girlfriend sound like utter trash. They're the useless ones.

thankyou both for replying :) i have lovely friends and family but sometimes feel like a burden as they have their own problems... i do try and keep busy - i struggle at weekends and evenings as i seem to have more time to think then... ive even gone to councelling to try and help... just wish he would be interested in his kids as he was the perfect dad... now he works mon-fri 8.30 - 5 and spends evenings and weekends with her and her son so obviously he cant have 'the time' for his own :( hes stopped the money he was giving me and we had bills together which were stupidly in my name so now im on a debt management plan and gone to csa... just confused as to how someone can go from being the absolute man of my dreams to an evil bas in such a short space of time

You can waste a lot of time and energy trying to answer the question in that last sentence, sadly. Chances are he was never really the man you thought because people rarely change that radically. His inner bastardliness was just well hidden... :) Glad you've got good friends and family. Do make the most of them because I'm sure they want to help rather than see you as a burden.

Glad you've got friends and family around you - don't be too proud to ask for help. Weekends and nights will be the hardest. If you feel low and don't feel you want to burden anyone then call the Samaritans. They will listen to you and don't judge.

Sadly I think Cogito is right about your ex. Going to CSA is the right thing to do. How people can turn their back on their kids and make no contribution AND leave you with a financial mess to sort out.....what a scumbag. There are no words really.