having a rubbish time at the mo with H

[hudsonriver1]

I dont know what to do, have posted before about my H. I have 2 children and he used to get on with them so well. He now hates my youngest who is 6, critises everything I do with her, she has a puppy at bed time to cuddle and he said last night he thought I was getting rid of it and she shouldnt be walking around with it, its only for bed. He thinks shes a spoilt brat.

Last night he upset me by what he said and stormed out the house for 3 hours.

He came home 2 nights ago and told me he is depressed, he wont tell me the reasons why and im sure there is something but just said he doesnt know and its been building up. I was depressed months ago and am now on meds and I knew the reasons why I was depressed.

Hes making me unhappy, its like every week theres another row.

Please help

If he's angry or feeling down about something but won't tell you what's going on, what are you supposed to do? Tolerate being snapped at, stormed out on and your children being insulted? I don't think so. You're unhappy, your children are presumably unhappy and it's grossly unfair of him to expect everyone to walk around on eggshells because of his behaviour.

If he thinks he's depressed in the clinical sense he should see a doctor. If he is in a low mood due to a problem he should own up, deal with the problem or ask for help dealing with it. If he can't do any of the above he should step out of the family and go somewhere else for a while.

If my DH ever called my DD a spoilt brat or behaved like that I would kick him out! Seriously. I told him when he met me that we came as a package. Love me, love my child - or fuck off.

Hes making me unhappy

How do you think your six year old feels? She is a child. In your words he hates her, critises every thing you do with her, thinks she is a spoilt brat and wants you to get rid of her much loved toy. Every week this child has to listen to rows. Some of which may be about what he says about her making her feel guilty on top of every thing else.

You have chosen to live with this man. Your child does not have a choice she is forced to live with this man.

If he is depressed tell him to get to the doctors and get what help he can to get it sorted.

If he doesn't sort anything or if he doesn't stop his behaviour towards your six year old, depressed or not you have to put your child first.

He sounds angry and entitled rather than depressed. I couldn't have someone who felt like that about my child living with me.

Taking your anger out on a 6 year old isn't going to solve anything. Is this just a way of winding you up? Does he feel trapped, does he feel stuck with you and the DCs and want to be single? Is he failing at work and taking it out on you and DCs? Is he being unreasonable in the hope you chuck him out so he can be on his own again without responsibilities?

If you come to terms with the possibility that you might be left on your own to raise DCs then have an honest discussion with him as to what he wants out of life and that he cannot stay whilst he behaves like this.

Do you think there could be someone else?

Dfanjo - that is what I think too.

The detachment, lack of involvement in family life, the criticisms and nasty arguments are all signs of a cheating spouse.

Someone else. Making fault w you to justify what he is doing.

IMO