So STBEH wants to move back into the family home because he is homeless .. Leaving me financially screwed.

[RolandPat]

He moved out last June. I had to quit PT evening work as he refused to look after the dc anymore.

He is now being asked leave his shared house as the house is being sold.

He says he is moving in to our jointly mortgaged property as he can't afford to live anywhere else. Apparently he was living in his last house as a favour from a friend and didn't need a deposit so hasn't now got one to put down on another property.

I can't top him because he is on the mortgage.

Apart from the actual hell of living with him, I am most worried about money.

All my benefits will stop as they will class as a couple - which we are not. I don't think I can rely on him to look after the children while I work.

I suspect he will stop paying maintenance and I won't be able to do bugger all about that.

At the moment I claim SMI mortgage assistance to help with the mortgage payments, that will obv stop and I will be reliant on him to pay the mortgage on time.

What the hell am I going to do?

I should have seen about a divorce last year but didn't get round it and now there is no legal aid.

I have no savings - nor does he. The mortgage is in arrears which means we would barely break even on a house sale. Might even end up with a shortfall.

The whole situation is a mess. I feel like crying.

Even if you are moving in the same house you can still be viewed as a non couple as long as all your financial dealings are kept totally separate.

Gingerbread single parents organization offer good advice, they should be able to help you.

Is there a spare room? If not he will be sleeping in the sofa!

It is possible to claim benefits while living together, if you actually aren't a couple...

BUT it is very difficult, because the government are obviously suspicious. You'll need to keep absolutely all financial things separate. Pay your own way for everything, from food to utilities, and keep a paper trail to back it up. Cook your own meals, clean up after yourselves, have separate rooms. Live, I suppose, as you would if you shared with a flatmate that you didn't know.

Speaking to CAB may be a good idea, and also looking at the mortgage assistance to see if that will definitely stop.

as he's not been living in the house for over a year, surely you'd be entitled to change the locks - as you've been sole occupier for so long?

I don't see how he can live elsewhere for 12 months and just swan back in because it suits him. I agree you need some proper legal advice.

I'm also going to say get legal advice from CAB if not an actual solicitor. I don't think being on the mortgage automatically entitles him to move back in if that's not what you want. Do start the divorce process a.s.a.p. It's not actually that expensive if you've already agreed things like access to children, money and selling houses.