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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Snooped and found out he cheated 3 days into our relationship :(

34 replies

SlumberingDormouse · 17/07/2013 20:20

I know I shouldn't have done it, and I wish I could unknow what I now know... but I can't.

In DP's archived FB messages was a message from a girl complaining about how he'd had sex with her in a toilet and then left her there. He apologised, saying he was very drunk. I looked back and all the dates match up with my text messages so he definitely did it. This was three days after we made our relationship official. Sad

What the actual fuck do I do? I'm trying to act normal while I plan but I'm shaking and don't think I can hide it much longer.

OP posts:
Somethingtothinkabout · 17/07/2013 22:57

Awww Doormouse Sad You've done the right thing, definitely. He's reacted exactly how someone who has no respect and will never take responsibility for their actions does, lie and try and wriggle out of it and admit only the bare minimum you can prove.

Better to know now then find out years later when you're even more tied to him.

Doha · 17/07/2013 22:57

Of course your sad. Your DP was not the person he pretended to be and you future is not want you thought it would be.
But
be glad you found out now rather than a few years down the line.

Be kind to yourself and you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself for a while ( l will give you to Sunday Wink).
The best revenge is to live well.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 17/07/2013 23:00

That's awful - as you have said yourself it's not the act by itself but the deception and willingness to risk your health, plus now attacking you! that are deal breakers here. But it's very understandable for you to be sad. Can you ring someone you know IRL and talk it through?

Apileofballyhoo · 17/07/2013 23:07

Definitely better to find out now but I'm sorry this happened to you Flowers

Lweji · 17/07/2013 23:14

Lucky escape, really.

Good for you for dumping him.

Original poster
SlumberingDormouse · 17/07/2013 23:39

I rang my mum and am feeling much better. Thanks for all the support; I really appreciate it :-)

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 18/07/2013 00:14

Just caught up. Well done you Flowers

perfectstorm · 18/07/2013 00:55

Seconding the "well done" for having the strength to end it. And I'm so sorry it was necessary.

ImperialBlether · 18/07/2013 01:00

I'm sorry you've gone through that tonight but you've done exactly the right thing. He's a lying, cheating prick and he doesn't deserve you.

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