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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Fade out

9 replies

Ohnoitsgonewrong · 16/07/2013 06:58

I've been seeing someone for the past 8 months its been a few times a week , he let me down a few times .
We had a Row over some photos he found but this was before I knew him .
I've seen him once since , he says he still wants to see me but doesn't call or text as much as he did and says he's just busy and if he didn't want to see me he'd just say no !
Is he just trying to end things without actually saying it ?
I'm slightly confused he's not much of a talker .

OP posts:

arsenaltilidie · 16/07/2013 07:23

What did he let you down with?
And was the pictures about something you lied about or just pictures with an ex?

Original poster

Ohnoitsgonewrong · 16/07/2013 07:32

He let me down quite a lot with plans and changing them messing about basically .
I don't want to give too much info out but he fixed my computer and found a private video and stuff that I wasn't aware was on there lol
But like I say it was before I knew him

OP posts:

arsenaltilidie · 16/07/2013 08:01

Red Flag

This blowing hot and cold will never end. He is unreliable.
He invaded your privacy, you just don't bump into a private video.

Original poster

Ohnoitsgonewrong · 16/07/2013 08:32

Thanks do I just get rid , he will never change will he ?

OP posts:

GingerJulep · 16/07/2013 11:59

I'd be upset at finding a video of my DP having sex with someone else (which I assume is the kind of thing we're talking about here). And if messing around trying to fix someone's PC I might well have seen enough of a file to know/guess what it was.

And, if I'd not been with you very long (and not made any similar videos with you) then I might feel a bit insecure.

You can either ditch for him being 'sensitive' or ignore/accommodate some reactions for a little while and move on.

Either way I'd make sure you don't give/ask new partners to access any media that shows you getting jiggy with an ex unless you're sure they'll enjoy (and ex wouldn't mind!). Most people would be upset by this.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/07/2013 12:10

Well you didn't know it was there so he must have had to hunt to find it!
Yep - too many red flags for me and it sounds like 'He's just not that into you'!
Sorry, but you can do better.
Ditch him and move on.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 16/07/2013 12:40

He's not exactly making you feel good about being in a relationship with him and 8 months is plenty time to assess what he's really like. 'Not much of a talker' is no excuse really. Whether you dump him or not, either way don't sit around waiting for him to click his fingers.

Original poster

Ohnoitsgonewrong · 18/07/2013 07:11

Well I've not heard anything for days now so looks like I've been dumped .
I always kind of thought people would either say or at least text that they don't want to see you anymore !
I'm a bit gutted even though I knew it wouldn't work .

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/07/2013 07:38

How about taking the initiative and 'officially' dumping him? It's always annoying when something ends but at least you could console yourself that you took action to consciously move on, rather than passively doing nothing.

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