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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not telling me things again

4 replies

Bizkit · 14/07/2013 13:00

Found out a few weeks ago plans for a new business, he already has one that he sort of gave up on because it just wasnt raising any substantial income, however he still has not mentioned a thing to me about this new idea
Would you be pissed off ?
He knows I won't be happy, which is why is isn't telling, but he is also suppose to be rebuilding trust issues.
We are barely talking as I've told him its over but he will not accept it, we are stuck in a rut, living together which I'm struggling with more and more each day. The situation is bad enough without more hidden things, if i asked he would probably tell me, so wouldn't be 'lying' but setting up a new company without telling the person you are sharing children and finances with isn't on no? Specially as I'm the one who makes sure we are on top of the bills. Or am I being premature, I don't think he has put any money or little into it so far.

He wants me to give the relationship more time so we can move to a better area as a family etc

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/07/2013 13:05

He leaves now.

He clearly has no intention of rebuilding trust if he's behaving secretively in order to deceive you again. Moving to a better area does not justify his lies now. He sounds like a gambling addict who thinks the next big win justifies stealing the stake money.

You've told him it's over so he leaves now.

Lweji · 14/07/2013 13:20

The nicer area sounds like a phantom carrot.
It's just a lure. And it doesn't exist.

I agree, just tell him to pack.

Bizkit · 15/07/2013 07:28

I feel like I'm having to sneak around to find info on this new business since he isn't saying anything. This is not what a relationship should be.
He will not pack his things he has no where to go and has already made it quite clear he is not leaving 'his family', I'm stuck and now he has stopped working at his 'full time' job as they had no work for him, so I've gotta put up with him being around all the time, I don't think I can cope.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/07/2013 07:39

Seek legal advice and get RL support. You don't necessarily have to put up with it. If he won't leave voluntarily you have a few choices. One is to start divorce proceedings and encourage him to leave before the house is sold from under him. Another is to make home life as separate and inconvenient as possible e.g. he does all his own cooking, housework, and other home comforts are withdrawn. Another is to get yourself and your children somewhere new and start the divorce from there.

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