really need some help

[TopsyTurvey87]

Hi everyone, just needed some advice really if anyone can help. I posted on here a few months ago. My husband left in march as he said he had fallen out of lobe with me. He moved in to the spare bedroom of his friend from work. He has always told me there was no other woman and there has been no sign of one. Before he left I checked his phone, email and facebook and there was no sign of one. Her just says he's only got one life and doesn't want to waste it being unhappy with me. We have two lovely little girls who are three and six.
I have been coping OK and have a lot of lovely friends and family. However he's just spoken to the girls on the phone and heard him tell them that when he visits tomorrow he'll take them to the seaside. Before he left this was our favourite family day out and the thought of them all there makes me heartbroken. I just can't understand why they now have to live like this and can't have their little family anymore, all because he's changed his mind. We were so happy and although we argued like all couples we had what I thought was a wonderful marriage and I just don't understand it. I'm so worried and sad for my little girls. Don't really know what anyone can say, I just feel so very sad x

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Haven't seen your previous thread but it sounds like you suspected an OW and that could be the case. Time will tell with that I suppose. But very painful to miss a family daytrip. I've been where you are and really understand. At the time I was told on here it would get better and it did. It takes time and is a big shock and grieving process.

Can you see friends or family tomorrow for support? Posting on here is also good. It's very hard just now and your girls are so young, my heart goes out to you. Be as kind to yourself as you possibly can be and remember that his behaviour does not determine your worth

I'm also sad to read this. I really remember those feelings of not comprehending why this had had to happen. Since when did he get to decide on his own?

It does get easier. You need to comfort yourself tomorrow - what can you plan and do to make it a kinder day for yourself?

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for your kindness x I just hate watching their little faces driving off in the car and knowing their world is all a muddle but there is nothing I can do. It just feels like all my friends will be busy with their families and I don't know where I fit in any more x

Oh Topsy, it's horrible, isn't it

spend tomorrow doing something really lovely for you

I feel for you, sounds very similar to my ex, he left as he didn't love me anymore and everyone told me there had to be another woman, this was well over a year ago now and there is still no other woman, it took me a hell of a long time but by now I have realized that life is much easier without him, we're even pretty good friends, we're still able to do things as a family. It's not easy I know but it does get better.

What will make tomorrow easier?

That is how we are really, when he comes over there isn't any shouting or falling out but it almost makes it harder as it seems so unnecessary. Is there anyone who's been in a similar situation with children and feels that they have come out the other side of it OK? I'm so worried t well have a long-term effect on the girls. I was so proud of our lovely family. Not sure what I should do tomorrow, retail therapy always helps I guess. So grateful for your messages xx

I was the same, used to drive myself bonkers thinking what the hell had gone wrong, I still don't really know but am able to accept that I'm so much better off by now. I find that my children are ok if I'm ok. Those times at the beginning when he took them for the day were torture though, I do feel your pain. Go buy yourself something nice. You deserve it x

Thank you, you sound like you have been very strong. Horrible men x

I think we women are pre programmed to be strong. Keep smiling, if anything it will annoy the crap out of him x