depressed before my birthday party

[farthingwood]

This time last year I was isolating myself,over weight,overeating,in an unhappy job and relationship and unsure if I had got into uni.
Fast forward a year I am slim, have friends who I meet with regularly, have just completed my first year at uni, have gone self employed and have left awful job,I am in a relationship with a man who really loves me and whom I love and am living with a good friend in a lovely house.
ANYWAY.
I am doing the next thing to throw myself out of my comfort zone, throwing a little birthday party (usually I would just go shopping on my own for the day and wish the day away)
So I've come along way and wanted to bring all my various friends who've been there for me through all this change, together to celebrate my birthday.
Today, I just feel a bit down kind of tearful. I hope I don't feel like this tomorrow.
(my boyfriends a bit depressed at the moment and that affects how I feel a bit, I suspect he's a bit nervous as he's not keen on parties)
Any tips to buoying my mood, I feel so far from a party mood right now
Thanks

You're not going to like this but I'll say it anyway. I know he really loves you and all the rest but, if you have just come through a really bad personal crisis and are trying to rebuild your confidence, for goodness' sake don't hitch your wagon to someone who is so insecure & nervous in himself that he brings you down worrying about him. If he doesn't enjoy parties tell him to find something else to do or else straighten his face and get over it.... This is not about him. It's your party, your friends, your birthday. Have a great time.

Happy birthday and well done on changing your life around.

Haven't got too much advice, except stop worrying. It won't be as bad as you fear and as its your party you call the shots. Do what you want to do and have fun doing it.

You only get to be centre of attention once a year and you are centre of attention because you are fab. Enjoy it.

Make the party a thank you for your supporting friends. Concentrate on giving them a really nice time rather than worrying about how you or DP will behave or find the day.

Thank you, that was the feeling I had when I first went to invite people, I wouldn't have got through this year if it had not been for these people and I just wanted to thank them and be seen just for who I am which is something I have always hidden before.
Thanks Cogito I can always rely on your anti co-dependant advice (I've appreciated it over the years- hell you should be coming to my bbq!)
Thank you all

Agree with Cogito, sorry to sound hash.

well done! It is so hard to pull yourself out.
Having been severely depressed in the past i know from experience that who you spend your time with greatly affects your own mood and ability to make a full recovery and avoid relapses.

Not that im saying LTB or anything! Just keep an eye on how your mood correlates to his. Also, he can suck it up or do something else, surely?

You should just enjoy your party. You thoroughly deserve it by the sounds of things and i bet you don't feel down once it's started

Thank you, I've just been for bike ride trying not to focus on bf's low mood- then a cyclist came past me and said, 'hi have you got a boyfriend?' I said 'yes' he said, 'that's a shame because you're hot'! I said thanks and he cycled on his way lol.

Amazing things come of just letting go, put a bit of a spring in my peddle!

Just been in to town to have an iced coffee and to buy a paddling pool for tomorrow.. I'm fine as I am.

This tends to happen around my birthday because my mum wasn't around when I was growing up so I kind of have to be my own mum.. I'm getting better at it but it's lovely to feel support from other women so thanks.

Thank you for your help I appreciate it

Bloody hell.... catch that cyclist!!!! He's the type you want. Active, complimentary and has a bit of gumption about him.

Sounds like you've done fab :) enjoy your party

You're a pretty inspirational person FarthingWood!
How super-strong you are to change your life around in such a dramatic way.
And you have the humility and grace to recognise and thank others who helped along the way.
I'd give DP a list of things to do and let him take his mood elsewhere, then call an upbeat friend and have a girly chat on the lines of 'what are you wearing' or paint my toenails
Have a great party.

Instead of feeling sad try to congratulate yourself on all you achieved in the last year, no mean feat by the way! I have to agree with others do your best not to let your bf or anyone else get you down. If your mood dips just tell yourself you are so gorgeous that even total strangers want to be in your company. Focus on your friends who are coming because they like you. Happy birthday, have a lovely day.

You mention your mum not being around much in the past, but maybe you're feeling a bit down as well because you're dwelling a bit too much on how you were last year and it's all getting a bit emotional.

You've achieved a lot in quite a short space of time and perhaps the tearfulness is also a result of you coming to the end of any stress that might have built up as a result of all these positive changes that you've made in your life.

Enjoy your birthday and take things easier for while. :)