DP smacking son

[Tess227]

This morning just after DS had awoken, DH started playing with him physically, DS aged 6 who was still sleepy hit out at DH, DH lost his temper and repeatedly smacked DS, becoming more enraged as DS is stubborn [like his father] & refused to go to bed. I tired to intervene in order to protect DS & got pushed away, sworn at, & told his behaviour was may fault as I am inconsistent! I tried to rationalise with DH that he was using the same behaviour to punish, how was that teaching DS not to hit! would really appreciate some advice as I know everyone loses it sometimes but sure there must be evidence against being violent towards kids?

if your ds had really been playing up and your dh gave him one smack in frustration i'd say it happens just have a chat with dh about not losing his temper. But what your dh did was beat a child for being a bit overly physical while playing a game your dh actually started, then pushed and cursed at his wife. That is way way over the top. Why do you need "evidence" against being violent? Surely it's plainly obvious that it's wrong?

Very very wrong. Very

What do you think op?

Not acceptable :(

I am not sure what I would do in your shoes. Make it clear that if he ever ever raised his hand to the child again he would be out the door I guess.

you don't need "evidence".
It's not going to sway that kind of man anyway.

He "repeatedly" smacked DS, so this wasn't just lashing out.
He then swore at you.
Blamed you to deflect any criticism aimed at him.
And now is refusing to see his behaviour as wrong and take responsibility for it, which has you scurrying for "evidence" to bring to him.

He is a violent and nasty bully.

Your poor child. Please do what you can to protect him from this man.

Is your DP his father?

That is horrible OP.

Is your DH often like this?

Is he your DS's father?

I hope I am not upsetting you too much, but you may find it helpful to think what a Health Visitor would say, or even a social worker. How would you feel if a stranger in the street did the same thing? How do you think he would react if a stranger in the street did the same to the child in front of him?

It sounds like he thinks it's okay to hit a child and you. Any evidence is likely to be challenged, ignored or dismissed. If he didn't think it was okay to hit a child he wouldn't do it in front of you and he wouldn't have hit you in front of your son if he didn't think that was okay as well. btw, most people think push = hit in this context of an argument.

Hope you are okay.

Has this happened before? Does he hit / smack him at other times?

Does he blame you for his temper and swear at you at other times?

I wouldn't be leaving him alone with the child, he's dangerous and has a problem, you really need to tell him as it sounds like he thinks it's normal to be violent.

Thanks to all the posters who have reported this thread to us.

We completely agree with all those who have urged the OP to contact the relevant authorities as soon as possible. We hope she has already done so.

As this thread is in Relationships, there are links to suitable sources of help and support flagged at the top of this thread and on every thread, we're going to post some details here - for the OP (in case she hasn't acted yet) and for anyone else who is posting/lurking and finds herself in a similar situation.

So please have a read of our webguide full of resources for those experiencing domestic violence.

As well as the police (999) and the NSPCC (call the 24-hour helpline on 0808 800 5000 or mail [email protected] or text 88858, there is a free 24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
And, as there is a child involved, it's worth knowing about ChildLine (0800 1111) and The Hideout, which supports children and young people living with domestic violence, or to those who may want to help a friend.