Fallen out with in-laws..!

[MrsRajeshKoothrappali]

Minor problem compared with the other post on here but I'm still upset.

Won't recite the entire story as it's childish and pointless.

Basically the in-laws were desperate to get hold of DP last night. He was out at a friend's house (other side of town).

I had a shitty text from SiL telling me to get him to ring MiL urgently. I text back he was out. Another text arrives telling me 'they need him'.
Yes, they may do, but he was out.

MiL then phones me and shouts at me that she 'needs' DP. I reply again that he's out. She hangs up on me.

More texts arrive along the same lines.

I did ask if I could help and recieved a simple 'no'.

DP arrives home, turns out that he'd already spoken to them and said he was busy and would call back when he was free.

Once home he phoned them immediately and attempted to solve whatever upset was occurring.

I rang this morning to ask how they were and was hung up on. SiL has ignored my texts and calls.

I haven't done anything wrong. Totally confused about what's going on.

They are quite highly strung and make a drama out of nothing but they're always so lovely to me. I thought myself and SiL were friends. MiL has always said I'm her second daughter.

Now I'm being treated like this..!

:(

Didn't Dh tell you what the issue was?

Yes, I know what the issue was.

But it was nothing to do with me. They seem to have turned on me because I was unable to get hold of him last night..!

Were you quite blunt with saying 'he's out'? Maybe they thought you weren't being helpful when they were clearly having an emergency (WAS it an emergency?).

And are they definitely ignoring you or could they just be preoccupied with said emergency?

No not an emergency.

I wasn't blunt, I never am.

:(

Aww, well in that case they are being unreasonable. Have you told your DP? What does he have to say about it?!

DP just says not to be upset about it - he's not so good with emotions!

He agrees that they're in the wrong but I don't think he understands why it bothers me. He finds them exasperating and tries to keep a distance. It's me who makes the effort, organises visits, sends presents, etc.

They do have form for cutting people off (within the family) and not speaking to them for ages. I can't be arsed with any of that though..!

You know we want to know what they wanted that was so important that they kept calling/texting for even though it wasnt an emergency.

Distance.

Don't make the effort. They're fuckers to you.

Be grateful their true nature has outed itself early enough for you to live your life.

Cool but distant, cool but distant.

And stop calling them.

Ignore them. My ILs did this - behaved badly themselves yet oddly after the event rewrote history and DH and I were at fault . We so weren't - in fact we had been really forebearing in the face of their very odd and rude behaviour. Not realising we were guilty of dire imaginary crimes we rang them for a chat (with DD on the line too as usual) and they put the phone down .

DH emailed calmly that we would not be treated like that cue ranty email that as DH was their son they could treat him however they wanted (right). So we just ignored them. No contact. Eventually they wheedled back, we are polite and do our duty by them but conversations limited to the weather and DDs and we make no effort beyond the bare minimum for our childrens sake. DH would have cut them off entirely but my conscience wouldnt let us do that.

You know we want to know what they wanted that was so important that they kept calling/texting for even though it wasnt an emergency.

I know!

I usually share anything and everything on MN but it's not my problem to share..!!

But I've been fucked off all day and you've made me laugh so cheers for that!!

Agree with ihearsounds - What was it!

They are being ridiculous but I think Laurie's suggestion might be a bit drastic - They are family members at the end of the day, as much as they annoy your DH, it's worth persevering at least for a bit.

Give them time to cool off and then try calling again next week maybe.

One thing I would say is that it is 100% your partner's job to bring them in line imo. He should feel bad that they are upsetting you and want to get it resolved.

Fuck 'em. There's a reason your DH keeps them at a distance and you're doing him no favors by trying to enable what sounds like a toxic relationship.

I repeat, fuck 'em.

Oh I feel for you, mine do this - but they will phone at 11pm. We don't pick the phone up at 11pm, then I'll get a shitty text from SIL saying "you are signed in on Facebook, I know you are awake, mum wants to speak to (my DH) tell him to answer the phone."

Now might be a good time to follow your husbands lead and keep them at arms length.

Until now you have been the golden one, showered with their attentions and good favour but now you couldn't meet their impossible goal you are at the bottom of the shit heap with the rest of the family.

You will receive more of the same from now on, so if you can't be arsed keeping out of it will save your sanity.