h thinks my kids are spoilt and are causing us problems

[hudsonriver1]

Hi. Only been married 10 mths. I have 2 children aged 6 and 10. We are on holiday and he has moaned about the kids saying how spoilt they are and how I pander to the youngest.

Feel really unhappy in the relationship and dont know what to do.

Is childish, have posted before!

Did this not arise before you got married?

Holidays with kids are notoriously difficult, if it?s your 1st holiday then he?s probably having a shock to the system.

Have you been together long?

Not really. He was brilliant with kids before. We been together 2 yrs. Weve been on holiday before

Why does he think they are spoilt? In what way does he think you pander to the youngest? You need to give us some examples so that we can really help advise!

This needs sorting sooner rather than later. Have you tried protecting him from the realities of life with dc? My ex used to say the very same things about my two, and I just don't think he could ever really get over seeing the dc as a pain. His loss. But you are married now which implies commitment to you as a family. You bin need to be honest. Do you allow him to have a say in their discipline or are you always in the middle?

Do you think your children behave badly? Are they demanding/spoilt? Do you think he has a point or do you think he's being unreasonable?

He thinks I baby the 6yr old and pander to her if she falls over. She often gets in moods especially on holiday as she is tired or its been very hot but he thinks I am making excuses.

Is very childish and gets in moods too. I feel like piggy in the middle. I allow him to discipline them too.

He sears infront of them which I hate but carries on.

Wears

Oh dear. So basically he was on best behaviour, pretended to get along with the DCs and said nothing about your parenting until he got his feet under the table..... and now he's decided he's 'Man of the House' and to get all Victorian on them?

Childish, moody and swears in front of them makes him a bully, not a man. Sorry but I think you've been sold a pup.

Assuming that they are not actually spoiled brats who badly need some discipline but are in fact just perfectly normal children - is it possible that now he feels he has you tied to him, he feels free to show his true feelings about your children?

I would make sure he knows that your children are your priority (as dependent children always should be) and if he makes their life a bad one, tries to or otherwise puts you in a position where you have to make a choice - that will not end well for him.

You should never be piggy in the middle when it comes to your kids. There's no place for you there.

My children have their moments like any other child but they are not naughty kids and have been brought up well. The kids have had a lot going on in their lives, their dad remarried and now has another baby, we have just moved house and they are changing schools.

Already told me he wants a divorce but as always he says these things and then changes his mind. I am.now thinking I dont know if I want to live my life like this anymore and is he really makinh me happy.

On anti ds and I think deep down its cos he does nothing to help me and sits on sofa all time and I work really hard too.

I have read your previous threads on this man and he has enough red
flags on him to make bunting.

What do you do when he swears in front of the children?. Do you say anything or remove the children from the situation?.

You and this man would be far better off apart; this man is lazy (you have previously written of him that he does nothing around the house) as well as entitled. He is and will make your lives a complete misery.

Take the divorce and don't change your mind. It's your Get Out of Jail Free Card and your 'bin the antidepressants' ticket in one. He is a waste of skin.

I just dont really know where to go from here, I have had a couple of times recently where I have felt like this. We have just signed a years agreement on rent and moved into a new house and I can not afford the rent on my own.

Perhaps you should not leave that decision in his hands. Maybe it's time to make the decision yourself.

He sounds awful.

Got his feet under the table and showed you his true colours.

And were still on holiday with his parents until saturday

Take him up on his divorce offer before he grinds you and your children further into the mire of unhappiness. Seek legal advice asap.

This is patently not the relationship model you want to be showing them.

Thanks for your advice. I used to love him so much but now I look at him as a lazy unmotivated u know what