First post ever on Mumsnet.... and I have to explain my nickname means Minnesota is cold... that's where I am.
I was married for 21 years to a twunt, abusive at that. And when we divorced (I left 17 years ago) there was no forum like this to turn to for support. I found a great counselor and got a Rx for AD, which helped enormously, but nothing in real life matches or comes close to the smart and understanding support I see people getting here. I read almost every day now, because it still helps me understand what happened and why my feelings went up and down so much.
Want to add, however, that staying in the marriage did affect my two sons very badly, and my older son is abusive to his wife; what was his example? The answer is obvious. So to you out there who think you're staying together for the sake of the kids, or because you don't make enough money (me), or think you're not strong enough to make it alone - please, please LTB and come here for support. You can do it, and you need to do it.
Plan it out, find support in real life as well, but start moving.