I feel a bit crap...fwb can't get it up (sex related content)

[SodaStreamy]

Just wondering what others think as it's been going round my head for the last few weeks

I've had an on off thing with a guy over the last few years and recently I've been open to starting it up again (which has taken alot as my circumstances have changed and I now have certain health conditions which do make me feel less of the person I once was)

Anyway everytime we try and have sex he can't keep hard and penetrate me.

This was never an issue before and now I'm unsure if this means he doesn't find me attractive anymore?

He initates sex and we kiss and have foreplay etc an he is erect but when it comes to actually getting it in there (can't think how to phrase it) it just melts and goes all floppy

Is this an indication that something is wrong and he does not find me attractive?

Um, if it's just a fwb, and the benefits aren't there, surely you just move on and find someone who can get it up? It's not a relationship.

I seriously don't think so

I can see why you think that (we all would) but no, reckon he may have his own health probs.

Have a hug and don't beat yourself up. He can't validate you anyway , you must do that (as hard as it may be) xxxx

Jessica i'm calling him fwb, because I can't call him my DP . We have discussed this and both agreed we want to give it another go and be in a realtionship with each other but it is early early doors

But now it makes feel crap about myself and unattractive or repulsive in some way

It should not be this hard with a fuck buddy. I mean, that is the entire point: you hook up, you put inhibitions aside and fuck each other senseless.

Find another shag partner. The world is full of people capable and willing.

If he didn't find you attractive or sexy in anyway he wouldn't be getting as far as he does. I really really doubt it is anything to do with you. Have you discussed it with him? I woud suggest he needs to visit his gp as there are many reasons why it's happening but you will not be one of them.

Maybe it's the 'being in a relationship' thing that's wilted him somewhat? Have you only ever been fwb in the past with no attempt at a relationship? He may be able to do mindless shagging but struggle with sex in a proper relationship. It's unlikely to be something about you, it's him.

It's an on-off thing, it's only back on because you have health issues that are making you feel more vulnerable (and needy), and it is making you feel crap about yourself and unattractive.

This is not a healthy entanglement. Let it go.

Have you and he talked properly about it?

If not then you've probably not clicked well enough emotionally for him to be 'the one'. Or one of 'the ones' In which case it's probably best to end it so you can move on.

HotDamened It's not only back on because I have health issues it's back on dispite the fact I have health issues

We have talked about it WhiteBird and all he can say is he has no idea why it's happening and feels embaressed .

I

If you have talked about being more than just FWB and you are quite happy in bed with each other right up until penetration OP it doesn't sound like he is averse to you. I don't wish to pry but is it possible your health issue makes him worry about hurting you?

That apart maybe it that he is now unable to perform through perfomance anxiety. Because he does find you attractive and is worried about pleasing you!

I would maybe focus on anything but penetration and without pretending you couldn't care less, just be patient and get to feel relaxed and at ease.

Is it the surroundings, are there others potentially within earshot?

Or could it be other life circumstances (eg job stress) or medication/recreational drugs are taking their toll?