how do I leave my husband?

[stacey282012]

I am wanting to leave my husband and cannot get the courage to do so. We have been together for 3 years and only married just over a year (not long). We have a son together who is 9 months old, not that my husband really cares if hes there or not he says he does but doesn't show it. He will get in from work and see him for 10 minutes and them give him back to me. He never feeds him, changes one nappy a day, never goes anywhere with him just one on one, never gets him dressed, outs him to sleep, bath him. he basically does nothing with him I am like a single mum and he is just happens to be here.

He also treats me like I am his mum too as well as my sons. I always keep the house clean and tidy, understandably he works so I should clean, but he will come in and leave stuff everywhere, he leaves the garden a mess too. he left me to pull down a shed on my own while he sat in texting on his phone! I cant live the life of having 2 children when I only have one.

I also caught him texting another woman and calling each other babe and kisses to each other. he also talked to her about me having sex with him. he also hid the fact that he smoked from me for about a year. he constantly lies to me about stupid stuff and I just cant live this life anymore.

I have said to him about marriage counselling and he says no he cant be bothered, then I said go or I leave and he said well im not going so if he is not willing to make an effort why should I. He also makes hints about my weight which is really hurtful. I have talked to him about everything and the way I am feeling countless times he just wont listen or care.

I would like to stay in my house because the lease is in my name and its my sons home. but I said to him once before to leave and he wouldn't go because he said im the one wanting to leave he will make it really hard for me. I don't know what to do. I really loved my husband when we got together and when we got married but I don't know if I do anymore as he has give up. I think he wont leave as he has another child with another woman and is scared of what his parents will say as that will be 2 failed relationships. we are young and all my friends and family think he only married me because it looked good in court for getting some days with his other child. but I got married for love.

I don't know what to do it feels like Im stuck here.

Have you talked to CAB or a solicitor? Many solicitors give a free half hour or full hour. Find one who specialises in family law.

You could also phone Women's Aid, and get advice from them. They may be able to recommend a solicitor in your area.

He has told you unequivocally that he can't be bothered with the marriage. I think you need to get tough now. Sorry it's turned out like this for you. It's not too late for you to make a happy life for yourself without him, and a happy life for your child, too.

Tell him to leave, if he refuses call the police.

The house is in your name, he is their at your permission. Your permission is now withdrawn and the police will enforce his removal.

There not their.

Hi Stacey, he sounds really dull, can't be arsed and a waste of space. It's terrifying to jump though, but do it now. I'm stuck when I should have jumped.

He's worse than dull... :) he's lazy, inconsiderate, uncaring, offensive and, to put the tin lid on it, he's spending his spare time texting other women. I think he's appalling. Definitely follow the advice to tell him to leave and back it up with police involvement. Then make an appointment to see a solicitor. Good luck

Oh good. i was pretty sure that as the house was in your name only you could just force him out, with the help of the police if necessary, but am not legal person at all, so didn't want to say it myself!

thanks guys for getting back to me. you helped I will try and keep posting xxxx

hey guys! I have spoke to my husband about everything and he says that he will do counselling but wether or not he takes it seriously I don't know. Is it too late though? my best friend is also busy saying that I would be a bad person if I left because that's not putting my son first. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

The relationship you have with your h is the model for your son when he's an adult. If it is one of little respect, lack of cooperation, laziness, detachment, then that is most likely how he will be within his own adult relationships.

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

You originally wrote 4 days earlier that your so called H was not bothered about going to counselling. He has only said now stated otherwise to keep you in the hole you have partially also dug for yourself.

You also stated that you wanted to leave your H. Find the courage within you to get this man out of your day to day lives!. Where there's a will there's a way. You need good solid legal advice.

Put you and your son first for a change; this man is not at all bothered with either you or your son. Is this really the model of a relationship you want to show your son, its dysfunctional at the very least. Would you want your son as an adult to treat his ladylove like chattel?.

Your best friend is basically telling you to stay trapped with this loser just because you had his child. Very 1950s surrendered wife rubbish. Of course he's not serious about the relationship counselling, he's just fobbing you off. I still think you should tell the guy to leave and get the counselling he needs to turn from entitled arse into a decent human being. Then see if you want him back or not....

"I would be a bad person if I left "

To be clear. It's your home, your lease, he leaves, not you.