BF deserted me for hours at Glastonbury...am I wrong for being pissed off?

[fizzfiend]

this has been bugging me for a while. There were a few of us there but everyone went off to another stage and me and bf stayed at the main stage. He went to the loo and that was it for about 3 hours. We had a meet up point which I went to and waited at for long periods of time but he never showed up saying he thought we would meet in between bands playing. That wasn't the agreement. I was on my own and it was crap.

I was really upset and he got all mad saying he'd tried to find me. He has a past reputation for being a crazy player but says that's all behind him now. My imagination is going mad....am I being stupid and paranoid? Please tell me what your take on this is as I feel like I'm going crazy..he apologised loads. We've been together for almost a year and have a great relationship...until this...thank you.

My ex bf did this to me at download festival. We had picked a spot we said we would meet at if we got split up. We got split up, i had his brother (who i'd just met) with me and we went to the spot and waited for a couple of hours. We were worried and then headed back to the tent hoping ex bf had gone there instead. No.

At the time I was suspicous of him metting with his ex who I knew was also going to be at the festival. We had an argument when he finally turned up and he said he'd managed to get to the front of the stage and watch the bands and that he wasn't gona miss being at the front to come and find us.

A few weeks later, back at home, his phone bill came in and i opened it. For the few hours before he went missing he had called and txt her a lot and then for the rest of the weekend when he was with me he had called and txt her. He told me his phone had ran out of battery.

This was only the tip of the iceberg with him. The dick.

I would like to be brave and do that, travelin - do you spend the time on your own or do you talk to other people at the festival?

The key for me would be: is this a one off or does he do similar things at other times?

I was at Glastonbury. I went to the toilet on the Sunday eve and it took me nearly 2 hours! It's easy to just wander off, have a look at something, queue for a drink, queue for the loo etc and time just runs away. It's really not a big deal. I think you should get over it too.

Is this your third thread about him and Glastonbury?

I did of course occupy myself but felt pretty lonely. I appreciate your comments though..maybe I was just being a drama queen.

Don't EVER ignore your gut. If you feel and believe that he didn't care about you, its because he didn't care about you and not because you are 'causing problems'.

This (ignoring our sense of self and make up a narrative to make being badly treated reasonable) is where women go very very wrong IMO.

I did it for 20 years until my bad treatment whacked me between the eyes.

This is why i always go to Glastonbury alone; I hate waiting around for people. When my ex suggested we go together I thought ''on no here we go'' but I went alone this year and had an amazing time. I think you are not being unreasonable to be curious about his whereabouts during that time but then it is the nature of the Glastonbury beast...including drungs and drink.

I'd be annoyed at being left alone for hours in a muddy field, but thats just me.

My ex dp did this at glastonbury years ago. He got up in the morning and said he was going to get something, but then just fucked off for the rest of the day. I haven't got a problem going on holiday and to festivals on my own, but waiting around for someone and having to keep going back to look for them is bloody annoying. If he had said he was going off on his own there would be no problem as I would have planned to do my own thing. Thats why he's an ex now. YANBU op.

Thank you - excellent responses...I am fed up with ignoring my gut. My gut says he couldn't be bothered to find me. I feel sick when I think about it...probably because I know something was badly wrong there. Whatever he was doing he knew I was alone...and who needs that?

Not that i can't be on my own, but this was supposed to be a shared experience. He's history.

people seem to be missing the point that he went to the loo...he didn't get lost. They had a meet up point.

He just couldn't be arsed and you know it. Sorry op , I'd be fuming too and yes, he would be history .

Sounds like he is an arse.

I managed not to lose my DP and my kids at glasto. We went to see different bands on and off throughout the day, went to the loo, got food and ice creams and still managed to end up in the same place at the pyramid stage (helps if you are in front of a tree!)

Trust your gut

When I go on evenings out or music events with my boyfriend and a group of friends I never expect to spend any time with him, he hangs around with his friends and I with mine. We occasionally "check in" but I wouldn't expect to be joined at the hip at all. Maybe he just had different expectations to you.

he didn't say that though...he said he was going to the toilet, which meant he'd come back but he didn't bother.

I think your gut is right - he couldn't be bothered to find you. Goodness knows there are endless pleasant distractions at Glastonbury!! In this instant they became more important than you.

You had a prearranged plan, he knew you'd be on your own and he though Fuck it, I'll deal with any grief she gives me later - this is too much fun/I can't be arsed with meeting as arranged.

The above is a totally different scenario than saying "Right I'm off to do X on my own - lets meet in 3 hours time in that chai tent over there. have fun - seeya!" which would be respectful and perfectly OK.