Too good to be true?

[overtheraenbow]

Ok first date (od) Saturday and seems really nice been messaging for over a month but only just got round ( due to commitments) , Trying not to get involved was only going as had been putting him of for ages and thought well if I go then at least I can say I gave it a go and nothing iykwim!
So second date booked and texting all day yesterday and today. So why do I keep thinking its all too good to be true? He's given me no indication that he's not genuine. When does wary become plain defensive?

Almost wish it hadn't gone well. Am I just not ready yet or am I over thinking ( again) ?

You're over thinking. Relax and enjoy :)

Yes, you are overthinking. You've had one date, it was nice, you're seeing each other again. Those are the facts. Do not engage in fantasy beyond that, unless you want to torture yourself.

Can you distract yourself with some other task?

You are analysing something that can't be, it's been one date, honestly, no offence but get a life if this is what you are worrying about.

You've been messaging too much! OD (assuming that means on-line dating!) is weird as you get only some of the cues that you do in real life. And people get too 'involved' before they really know each other... texting all day someone you've only met once is strange, it should feel wrong!

I married someone I met on-line but we only sent a couple of e-mails each, then called (once for a conversation, once to arrange a date) and got it into real-life pretty quick.

Try looking for mutual connections (it really is a small world) or perhaps suggest doing something with a group of friends for date 4ish (bbq season etc, doesn't have to be too formal, just give you a chance to see each other in normal social contexts).

"When does wary become plain defensive?"

Not as quickly as two dates and a few messages, that's for sure :) You hardly know the person and it's 100% normal to still be checking him out and taking it cautiously. Two whole days of texts ... nice texts? pushy texts? texts saying 'fancy a shag?'.... :)

Jan you are right. I was ready to say ' see I knew it was a bad idea' but now ... He seems nice.
I am an over thinker and I know I should just wait and see. But I'm kind of thinking maybe I'm not a good judge of character any more. I've been out of it for so long I can barely remember what a shag is anyway Cogito!! Ok the text thing sounds weird that wasn't what I meant, not 2 whole days of texts but a couple of texts over 2 days, just what are you up to/ how was your day etc, !! I think that's the problem , nice texts friendly not pushy at all. And only a couple of messages before just kept trying to meet up and then found one or other of us couldn't do it due to kids.
The fact I was ready to go meh knew it wouldn't work out and now think he's ok has thrown me a bit! Knew I'd get a slating though !! :)